Everyday Miracles   by Valerie Rickel

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In her new "Everyday Miracles" column, Valerie shares stories of synchronicity from her daily life – her "everyday miracles," if you will, and invites readers to join her on her personal journey of self-discovery in her passionate search for life’s deeper meaning. In recounting the extraordinary, yet oftentimes seemingly ordinary "everyday" events of her days, she hopes to inspire others to also be open and alert to signs of synchronicity and the many gifts and miracles that the Universe brings into our lives.

Coming Home to Myself: Getting Unstuck by Becoming Still
A Holiday Angel Brings Message of Springtime Transformation

When I selected the topic of "Spring Cleaning for the Soul" last year, as the theme of this spring quarter’s issue of SoulfulLiving.com, I had no idea that the Universe had some serious spring cleaning and personal transformation in mind for me, personally.

I am always in awe, but never surprised by the miraculousness with which the Universe works and the beautiful gifts and messages it brings.

I strongly believe that every person who comes into our lives comes for a reason. They come into our lives to deliver special messages – "divine gifts," if you will, and it is our responsibility to be "present" enough, to recognize these people when they arrive, and "open" enough, to graciously accept the gifts they come bearing.

Often times, we have a choice as to whether we want to welcome these messengers and their "gifts," but sometimes, we have no choice. They deliver their gifts, like it or not. Either way, it’s always up to us to decide what we ultimately do with the message they bring into our lives. We can wave it off and dismiss it, or we can take it to heart, allow it to touch our lives, and help us to grow, creating change for the better.

These messages or lessons are sometimes difficult for us to hear. We may not want to, or be ready to, face their truths. But, if we need to hear them, we can be sure that the same messages or lessons will continue to appear in our lives until we are willing to listen.

The last four years of my life have been quite a struggle for me, as I have found myself living in a manner not entirely aligned with my soul. I was filled with grief and sorrow after losing both of my parents, less than three years apart, in my early 30s. Although I found happiness and fulfillment in other areas of my life, I have been, for some reason, unable to move from our family home. I’ve been "stuck" in all sense of the word. The number of obstacles and barricades preventing me from moving out of the walls of our home – and forward with life – are far too numerous to list here. But, I do recall that I have had great dreams about wanting to get unstuck and moving forward, along with fantasies about where I wanted to move to and the life I wanted to live once I got there.

In retrospect, I must admit, I have probably spent much too much time thinking about the places that I might like to relocate to. In some sense, this project took on a life of its own. I spent a good year of the last four years doing research and visiting various locales across the country. It was apparent that my soul had embarked on a very intent journey, in search of a place to call "home."

The whole process of searching for the perfect place to live was very frustrating. No matter how much I dreamed, I got nowhere. I simply could not find the means or tools to break free from the walls of my grief-stricken imprisonment. I had such a burning drive to break out, but to absolutely no avail. Often times, it felt like the harder I tried to break free, the more difficult my circumstances became. It seemed the Universe had plans of its own for me, and they were definitely in conflict with my own.

For some unknown reason, the Universe kept sending me messages and signs to, "Be Still." As beautiful as this phrase is, it was a somewhat daunting and troubling message to keep encountering. There was a part of myself that had to wonder what kind of cruel joke the Universe was playing on me. I wanted nothing more than to get unstuck, move outward and onward, but everywhere I went and everything I did, the message, "Be Still," kept appearing. It was very bizarre. Many of my friends and colleagues agree that the statistical chance of my encounters with this phrase was probably one in hundreds of millions.

It seemed quite obvious that the Universe wanted me to stop running around like crazy, in search of the perfect place to call home, and spending so much time daydreaming about how wonderful life would be when I got there. As much as I wanted to "break free" and move forward, it appeared that the Universe wanted nothing more than for me to "be still." It was very disconcerting.

But, as I look back on the first four months of this year, about how a special stranger appeared in my life and the way events in my life seemed to unfold quite magically, it is all making a great deal more sense. The Universe wanted me to stop, observe, listen, and become peaceful enough to allow these miraculous gifts of the Universe to enter my life.

There is a strange contradiction between the concepts of being "stuck" and being "still." While both imply "a lack of motion," the latter implies a conscious choice to "be still" – a decision and action, in which we are an active participant in our lives and a co-creator with the Universe. Being "stuck," on the other hand, is inactivity, similar to just sitting and doing nothing, where life just happens to you, not with you.

When we make a conscious choice to stop fighting and simply surrender to life – in my case, to my "stuckness" – and become peaceful and still, present in each and every moment, we become open and available to welcome growth, transformation and change, creating space for the wisdom, gifts and miracles of the Universe to enter our lives.

The Universe’s gifts and messages can take many forms. They may appear in our lives as part of a powerful chain or cluster of synchronistic events or "lucky" accidents. They can appear as symbols, numbers, dates, times, or repeated phrases that we attach significance to, perhaps appearing as a physical sign or signpost in the world, such as on a license plate, for instance, or in books, songs, and even through dreams. They are also delivered through special people – "angels," I like to call them – who come into our lives as teachers, to help guide us and show us the way. Meaningful messages are everywhere. Our job is simply to be open enough, so that we can recognize them when they arrive.

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." –Buddhist saying

This past winter, I met a very special man (I will call him Michael) at his place of work – a business that I had to visit with great frequency during the busy holiday season. I felt a great connection with Michael right from the start and found myself being very attracted to him. We have many common interests, and I was very happy to make his acquaintance. As I continued to see him on subsequent visits to his place of work, my interest in him grew more and more. We began to flirt and obviously enjoyed one another’s company. I remember being very pleased when he finally asked for my phone number in mid February, which led to a wonderful six-week whirlwind of fun and dating, but would ultimately end in heartbreak and pain.

One of the things I found so appealing and impressive about Michael is the personal journey of healing and recovery that he is on and how courageously and diligently he goes about working on his inner-self and, most specifically, the work that he is doing to heal his "inner child."

I remember feeling a little bit apprehensive when Michael and I first began dating. I was so intent on relocating and moving onward with my life, I think I was afraid that he might sidetrack me from my plans, and I recall a definite uncertainty about whether welcoming him into my life was the right thing to do or not. But an angelic message, delivered in a very special and reassuring dream, would soon put my uncertainty to rest.

I believe our dreams can provide us with great insight and wisdom. By quieting ourselves and remaining open, we can allow our dreams to speak to us. Many people believe that angels and deceased love ones can speak to us through our dreams.

If you read my last "Everyday Miracles" story, Messages Delivered on Feathered Wings, you are familiar with the fact that I received several unexpected, yet very meaningful, gifts this past holiday season, delivered on a special pair of feathered appendages.

In my passionate search for the message in these gifts, I came to the conclusion that they symbolized, "new life direction taking flight on newly sprouted wings." A message filled with great hope and courage for personal transformation, renewal, and rebirth, and could perhaps be interpreted to represent the death of my "old self" and my old life, and the birth of a "new self" and a new life.

This "feathered" story prompted a dear friend to write me a letter in early February. He wrote, "What a lovely story. Your father is hovering over your shoulder as an inspirational angel, I am sure." His words spoke to my heart and were very meaningful to me.

The night I received that letter, I remember falling to sleep very quickly, which is a little unusual for me. I was very exhausted that evening, but I can remember my first dream vividly. I found myself at Michael’s place of work, standing at the counter talking with him. As I stood there, I felt someone walk up behind and to the left side of me, as if to speak with me, just as had happened once in real life, while I had been standing at the exact same counter.

In the dream, I looked over my shoulder and was very startled to see my father standing there. His presence was so real, I felt as if I could have reached out and touched him. I was so surprised to see him standing there, looking so real, that I awoke from the dream with a startle.

My father’s presence in this dream reminded me of his very real appearances in my dreams the two nights before he died, nearly seven years ago. The messages and wisdom he relayed in those dreams had been profound. Very honestly, I cannot say that he has "appeared" with such grandeur and realistic vividness, in the last seven years, until this night in early February.

When I awoke the next morning, my friend’s letter immediately popped into my head, and I was beside myself with wonder and joy. I delighted in pondering the possibility of my friend’s words – "Your father is hovering over your shoulder as an inspirational angel" – actually being true. Now, I suppose a skeptic could say that these words seeped into my consciousness and expressed themselves in my dream. If that was the case, I must say that I would be in awe of the precision and miraculousness with which my consciousness goes about its work. Either way, this dream certainly felt significant to me.

I was disappointed; however, that I had awoken from the dream with such a startle, because I felt like my father might have come bearing an important message for me – something he wanted me to know about Michael, perhaps. I really would have liked to hear what he had come to say. I was so intent on hearing the message that I prayed to my father the next evening to please return to my dreams and bring the message that he had come to deliver.

My father didn't make an appearance the next night, but I did have a dream of the exact same scene at this counter, and I remember receiving a very strong and clear message in this dream that, "Michael and I are angels – that we are all angels!" It was a good sign, indeed, and definitely helped facilitate my growing interest in Michael.

The Universe knew I was open and alert to its messages, so it felt confident in sending me this positive message, a "thumbs-up" or "green light," if you will, through the quiet stillness of my dream.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I believe strongly that the people we are supposed to meet in this world come into our lives at precisely the right time, to deliver the messages we need to hear. They are messengers sent from the heavens to help teach us our lessons and to help us grow. I’ve learned that they may not always come bearing the messages we want to hear, but they bring their messages nonetheless, because the Universe knows it is time and that we are ready for the lessons that they bring.

Sadly, Michael and I parted company after only six weeks together. In the end, it turned out that our lives were very similar, but that our continued journeys were heading down diverging paths. Perhaps, our Higher Selves knew that our work together had been done and it was time to part ways. But, despite the short duration of our relationship, my feelings of heartbreak and loss were very real. After Michael was gone, I realized what a gift his presence had been in my life. He helped teach me so much about life in the short time I had known him. He touched my life in many ways, including helping to "crack me open," which has led to a profound personal awakening and unprecedented transformation and growth, and I am very grateful.

It is apparent to me now that the Universe knew I was ready for the profound insights that Michael’s presence opened my eyes to – unfinished business I obviously needed to attend to – the missing piece of the puzzle I needed to address, while still in this home, where I have been stuck, quite literally, for the last four years. I feel like the Universe hand-selected Michael for his wisdom and personal life experiences and brought him into my life at precisely the right time, to deliver the messages that I so desperately needed to hear.

In my personal search for life’s deeper meaning, I am never disappointed with the answers and information – the "gifts" – that are revealed to me on my never-ending search for the truth. The Universe always provides.

Those who know me well know that one of the things I most love to do is to research things. I think I get this trait from my mother, as I recall she spent her days and nights hunting down research and information, too. I found myself on the Internet in the days after Michael and I separated, searching out information about healing and relationships and was led to a wonderful web site called, Joy2MeU, http://www.joy2meu.com. There, I found a tremendous amount of information from author, teacher, grief therapist and counselor, Robert Burney, who shares his wisdom on such matters as relationships, the inner child, and recovery.

What I found so helpful in dealing with my strong feelings of heartbreak and loss, in the days following Michael’s and my breakup, were Burney’s thoughts on separating our inner child’s reactions from our adult reactions. He writes:

Anytime we have a strong emotional reaction to something or someone – when a button is pushed and there is a lot of energy attached, a lot of intensity – that means there are unresolved emotional wounds from the past involved.

It is the inner child who feels panic or terror or rage or hopelessness or desperate loneliness, not the adult. The more we can get aware of our ‘buttons,’ our emotional wounds, the more we can have some Loving control over them instead of judging and shaming ourselves for our reactions.

When we have a strong reaction to outer stimuli - other people or life events - it is important to learn to separate the inner child's reaction from our adult reaction. I usually figure that about 80% of a strong reaction is about old unresolved issues and only 20 % about what is actually happening now. Until we start separating now from the past, we are incapable of responding to what is happening now in an age appropriate manner. It is impossible to be present in the now and respond honestly to what is happening if we are not conscious of how much inner child reaction is involved. http://www.joy2meu.com/inner_awareness.htm

Robert Burney’s insights opened a wonderful and miraculous can of worms for me. I was all at once given a pass code to my inner self – my inner child – who had successfully eluded me for nearly my entire life, since I was actually a child, I suppose.

In a world of passwords and pass codes to nearly everything – our email accounts, ATMs, keyless car entry devices, home security systems, and just about every task done on the computer and Internet these days, I have to ask myself, "Why haven’t we been given one to access one of the most precious things in life – our inner selves? I mean really, how come we were never given the tools to dial up our inner child? We dial up everything else it seems.

We each must stay alert for our own personal "inner-child pass code." For me, thanks to Robert Burney, I have learned that keeping watch and being alert to my strong emotional reactions – my inner child reactions – to people and circumstances is a password that works well for me.

As I mentioned earlier, I have spent the last four years trying unsuccessfully to move forward, get unstuck, and "escape" from the walls of my family home. I realize now that since losing both of my parents, I had quite literally built a fortress around my heart. I had built up walls and borders – both physical and emotional, as a protective mechanism to prevent myself from having to suffer any further grief or pain.

The project of sorting through our family home has been a difficult and overwhelming task. On some level, it was easier to just funnel my pain into other projects, a form of workaholism for me, I suppose. I also avoided the task at hand by daydreaming about the life I wanted to live, rather than actually doing much of anything healthy to make it a reality.

Quite by coincidence – or perhaps not, the beginning of this year presented some rather unusual, almost magical, circumstances in my life that prompted an increase in positive action toward sorting through, packing up and moving out of my family home. Since New Year’s, I’ve found a new energy and determination and have been working fast and furiously to "get out" and finally "break down my walls!"

But, it seems that just as I was running for the door, the Universe slammed on its brakes with a loud, "screech!" and said, "Nah ah, wait just one minute there, not so fast! You’ve got some unfinished business here. You have some work to do on yourself, before you can move forward with your life."

The Universe knew I was going to have to deal with this unfinished stuff before I could be released from the tight hold of both the physical and emotional walls of my family home. The Universe knows that my new life would never be all that I had dreamed it would be, if I didn’t first do some important work with my inner child, to heal my most important home – the one that resides within myself.

What I am able to see is that it is impossible to climb over, under, or even around your problems. Of course, you can try. You can try to avoid your problems until you’re blue in the face. You can hide from them, mask them, deny them, bury them, suppress them, medicate them, dream and fantasize them away. You can keep yourself so busy or working so hard, you wouldn’t be able to feel them if you tried.

But, for me, the key to becoming "free" is the realization that I simply have to go through my problems, no matter how terrifying that may seem. And, I know if I don’t, I can be sure the same issues will come up over and over again.

The beauty I have found is that when you get honest with yourself, really stop and look at this "stuff" for what it is – see it at its face value – you take away its awesome power.

My spring cleaning has been to get completely honest with myself and release my old beliefs about myself that have been holding me back, keeping me stuck, and preventing me from enjoying the freedom and love that exists outside of the walls and perceived constructs of my grief-stricken imprisonment.

I see now that my long and frustrating search for a home outside myself was really just a search for the warm and loving home that resides within myself. A home that has been waiting for me to make peace with it, so that it could welcome me home to the comforting calm within its walls.

I believe we will never find any outer peace in the world, until we each find our own inner peace, residing within our own peaceful hearts.

I am very grateful that Michael came into my life to help "break me open" and "tear down my walls." I look forward to joyously and courageously moving forward into my new life, and, more than anything, I am excited to be coming home to myself – my only true home.

I have faith that the Universe loves me and will guide me where I need to go. I am not alone. You are not alone. None of us is really ever alone – no matter how hard we may try to isolate ourselves by hiding within our constructed or imaginary walls. We are all connected in this glorious and miraculous Universe of ours. The Universe loves us all.

When we are open and alert, we become available to receive the Universe’s many gifts. Life is a never-ending process of growth and learning. We can welcome this growth, or choose to reject it. But, the healthy thing to do is welcome it with open arms, no matter how painful or hurtful the lesson may be. Because, if it is in your life, you can be fairly certain that it is there for a reason. We often hear that some of the most significant life change comes about as a result of great pain and suffering. It is comforting to know that on the other side of darkness and despair exists hope, excitement and anticipation for the future and its possibilities.

Everyday Miracles™ and Soulful Musings™ © Copyright 2006 Valerie Rickel.  All Rights Reserved.



Recommended Resources:

Websites:
Inner Child:  Joy2MeU - http://www.joy2meu.com
Synchronicity:  The Power of Flow - http://www.flowpower.com
ADC Experiences:  Hello From Heaven - http://www.after-death.com

Articles:
Articles on "Flow and Synchronicity" at SoulfulLiving.com
Articles on "Loss and Grief" at SoulfulLiving.com
Articles on "Understanding Dreams" at SoulfulLiving.com
Articles on "Signs, Symbols & Meaning" at SoulfulLiving.com

Books:
Suggested Books on the Topics of "Flow and Synchronicity"
Suggested Books on the Topic of "Understanding Dreams"
Suggested Books on the Topic of the "Inner Child" at Amazon.com

Read Past "Everyday Miracles" Blog Installments:

"Messages Delivered on Feathered Wings"

Valerie Rickel is the founder and creator of SoulfulLiving.com, a highly publicized and popular internet community and award-winning web magazine. Born into a family of artists, Valerie was educated at UCLA and combines her background in psychology, her keen eye for exquisite design and detail, and over a decade of marketing and public relations experience into all her ventures. An artist, writer, web developer, marketing consultant, and visionary entrepreneur, Valerie is known by the business moniker, The Creative Soul®.

Valerie was deeply touched and inspired by her father, an artist and philosopher, and in his wisdom, creativity, and spirituality, she found the seed for both her web site and a series of Soulful Living® books. The passing of her father and mother and the traumatic events of 9/11 all proved to be catalyzing events from which were born Valerie's passionate interest in soulful living and her intense search for life's meaning. Deeply committed to the opportunities her web site and books have opened to her, Valerie's mission is to share her passion for soulful living and inspire and enhance the lives of others.

Entering its sixth year on the World Wide Web, SoulfulLiving.com has won accolades from the media and has been featured in numerous print publications, including Health and Fitness Magazine, Health magazine, The Los Angeles Business Journal, and Gospel Today magazine. As Meg Sanders, author of the book, The Good Web Guide to Mind, Body & Spirit, writes, "As soon as the homepage appears, you know you're in the hands of professionals…. Elegant, erudite, ambitious and sincere, this site sets the standard, but we've seen few others that even come close."

Read Valerie's New "Soulful Musings" Blog

Visit:
www.SoulfulLiving.com

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