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The Soulful Living Open Journal
VOLUME I

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Living Open Journal - VOLUME II
My Thoughts:
April 2000
This month, it will be two years since my father passed away. I am frightened because, as time goes by, the
memory of his physical presence grows farther and farther away. Today it is harder to see his beautiful, glowing soul,
hear his melodic voice, and feel his warm embrace than it was just one year ago. And, I know, as time goes on, these
physical memories will become even more faint. I suppose if the memories were as vivid today as they were two years
ago that the pain would be even greater. If there is a positive, I guess it is the knowledge that time and distance help to
heal the pain. But, what I wouldn't give to be able to give my father one last hug, have one last glance, and hear one
last note of his sweet voice. I am comforted knowing that my father's light will forever live in my heart. No time or
distance can ever take that away from me.
My Thoughts:
In this chaotic world filled with disappointments; one right after another, we begin to feel hopeless...voiceless. "My
voice doesn't matter enough to change anything. One voice carries little weight for change in this world." We all think
this at one time or another. If every voice would speak at once...what thunder we would hear! Strike up a storm that
rumbles with intent. -Jane
My Thoughts:
My Thought for the Day: "Old age gives you the wisdom of experience, and being young gives you the insight of
innocence." - Pauline Gates
My Thoughts:
The spiritual life is a reaching out to our innermost self, to our fellow human and to our God.
Henri J.M. Nouwen
My Thoughts:
It is a rainy day today and one that brings a sense of peace to the world. As I sit here listening to a Piano CD of such
pieces of music as Endless Love, Minuet in G, Fur Elise, The Rose, and even Smoke Gets in Your Eyes...I am calmed by
the combination of writing, reflecting, bathing in music, and even meditating through these mediums.
My Thoughts:
I feel depressed because I have not taken advantage of the opportunities I was given in life. Maybe I'll feel better
tomorrow.
My Thoughts:
MY DIARY: I do love this Site and I know I will be reading alot of the info you have shown me but I would like to add
something I love writing in my own journal nothing will ever take the place of my Diary ~*~*~* Ann ~*~*~*
My Thoughts:
Most journaling books say to hand write materials...my hand writing is slow and very poor looking so I"'m goin to try
and just use a word processor. I do have a bit of a problem with the attitude that journaling is important...what did
illiterate cultures do...were they just misearble repressed humans? As with most other things, journaling will not be the
panacea for all people
My Thoughts:
Poem titled-Awarness >I know that you can't love anyone else until you love every inch of yourself >I know that
people tend to do things you disagree with,but it's you who gets angry >I know that self-love is developed with
time,
patience and understanding >I know that it takes more energy to hate someone than it does to love them >I know that
material things look pretty, but it doesn't create who you are >I know that beauty lies within,& the outer appearence is
only a vechile to carry you through >I know that you only feel the need to be better than someone, if you really feel like
less >I know that your friends become your family over time >I know that times can get hard >I know that you'll
always make it through those hard times >I know that you can't master anyone's mind until you master your own >I
know that people can be cruel >I also know ypu can re-create what goes on around you >I know that love can hurt,
but time heals the wounds >I know that your thoughts create your experience >I know that because people yell or get
angry, it doesn't mean they don't love each other >I know that you must speak the words the way you'd like to hear
them >I know that times can bring lonliness, yet you can go within to seek comfort >I know there's One creator of life,
and once you realize this, it's easier to stop judging and labeling
May you find Peace and Unity Within Kristine Reedy Kristinereedy@savage-international.com
My Thoughts:
My thoughts for today is the following I am a writer but I need to find the time to do the things I love the most.And that
is writing From :Diariest
My Thoughts:
Kristie Harris
My Thoughts:
Thank-you for this website. What a lovely idea. I look forward to hearing from others who are seeking ways to live
more soufully. I was in a "Teamworks" Group that met once a month for two years. We met to talk about goals and
priorities and to encourage, support and challenge each other. That group broke up and I miss it. I wonder if there is a
way to do that sort of thing online.
My Thoughts:
Thought For The Day, "Few have far to go, the rest of us are just hanging out."
My Thoughts:
It has been a good day. I have connected, have met with people and discussed issues of importance. I am learning and
growing. I am listening to my own inner wisdom. I am learning to slow down and get quiet when it is necessary. The
most important gift that I can give today is appreciation and acknowledgement.
My Thoughts:
I have been on a long journey always striving to move forward. I know the whispers of heaven are calling to me, yet I
do not listen. My heart aches for understanding and support and yet I feel so alone. My mind always thinking, &
planning spins out of control for concepts not yet internalized, for they are only small inspirations of what I do not
know. Can you hear my cries, my desperation for understanding, my hope for acceptance.
So I will keep truding along the only way I know how, with faith as my sheild that someday it will I will reach the
ultimate goal and with hope that I will someday reach the top of the mountain and there I will rest and be grateful for
all that I have and endured.
God Bless You and Yours Diane sinueth@e-machines.net
My Thoughts:
This is my first time at this site. It is beautiful, not just the design, though that is wonderful also, but what everyone has
to say. I am 19 years old and I have just started my soul search. Though it has always been there, I have never been so
aware of it as now. Before I had always lived in a world of "me" and "I". I have learned or should I say remembered
that we are all connected in this life and it is a wonderful thing. If you really feel with your soul you can feel the power.
It is beyond words. We are a part of something so precious it could almost make you cry. And the not knowing of
exactly what it is all about is wonderful and exciting. I use to think that this world was harsh and cruel and nothing
matter. I even tried suicide a few times, but one day I had a wake-up call and realixed everything. How precious we
ALL are. We must treat everyone like we would want to be treated because they are us. I am you, you are me and that
is grand.
My Thoughts:
Sometimes life can be a pain at this time I have found refugei n two things My Saviour Jesus Christ and my diary
*Diariest*
My Thoughts:
I remember my father in who he was and not how he was. I remember the smell of him and the way he was a grump in
the mornings. The feel of his unshaved cheek against my soft one. The smell of resin reminds me of him and his
surfboards. The sound of the turning surf brings him back to me. The feeling of sand stuck on my toes. The sight of my
brother and the way he laughs. My dad has been dead twelve years and I still miss him. SBOT
My Thoughts:
Trudging through the middle class ennui and tedium that composes the majority of these posts I do have to wonder
how Online Diary sites manage to create such a wonderfully homogeneous entity or writers and readers. The blanket
grey wash of vaguely New Age philosophy and belief in the omnipotence of "creative activities" creates an exquisite
tedium that begs the question, "So What?"
My Thoughts:
Don't know much about feng shui, but my sewing corner did not feel right. After 6 years, I turned it around last week
and WOW. I've been sewing like crazy. It just feels right now. It's wonderful. What else can I turn around in my life as I
near 53 and retirement. Joan Lowder
My Thoughts:
I, John, always wanted to know what the unresolved discontent was in me. I was filled with anxeity, from as long as I
can remember, I was scared of everything. My spirituality and faith were words that covered only the surface of my
life. Things happened, an accident at work, an anxeity disorder, a depression. I call it the black hole. Shaking all night
and breathing so hard during the day that my chest hurt. Spending 3 weeks at a partial hospital program led to a
decision to go to work again part time.I can not write anymore about my trek back to reality, it would be to long. What
I will say is that now I am closer to Jesus Christ than everbefore, I know he is alive. I believe in all my heart that that
incident in my life needed to happen. I couldn't see it than, but now I do. I have changed and continue to get better.
E-mail me if you want to talk about similar incidents- santana@sunlink.net
My Thoughts:
I feel like I am nothing. Why doesn't he know that I would give hime everthing I have just to be with him? My body, my
heart, my soul. But he will never know my feelings. I cannot tell him. I will not tell him.
My Thoughts:
Brandon Hamiltion if you are reading this I hope you are happy for ruining my life.
*Kate* (I would have given him the world.)
But I want somthing else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life. Seriously.
My Thoughts:
Brandon Hamilton. My one true love and he turned me aside like a piece of trash. Even my dog left me---for Ina! Oh
why is life so semi-charmed?
*Kate*
My Thoughts:
Dear Kate I feel your pain. in time I'm sure you will see that you are much better off without this person in your
life.Someone else wonderful is waiting out there for you -- this person will cherish you and your love. *Diarist*
My Thoughts:
Kate, my heart goes out to you. i've been there too. - your friend
My Thoughts:
I enjoyed the most lovely day in my garden today. A day spent truly in the present momnet... hearing the needs of each
plant spoken to me and tending to those needs. gardening is wonderful for the soul.
My Thoughts:
My life is so incredibly lucky and blessed. What did I do in my life to deserve this. I feel sometimes like I am waiting for
the other shoe to drop and all will be gone/ruined.
My Thoughts:
I have calmed something previously unresolved in me. I have hushed the clamor of my clamoring for company, of me
betraying myself, again and again with fear of being alone with my thoughts. Tonight, I was compelled to pull up a seat
and join myself for dinner. We had a lovely, unhurried, and soulful
time.
My Thoughts:
From Diariest To Other Writers
I live in Ohio and it seems so hard to find other writers I need inspiration It seems so hard to sit down and relax and do
some writing that is something I love to you .I have left messages on the message board but I can never find other
writers Where are you diariest/writers if you are out there email me : diariest@suite101.com or check out my web site
:http://writerscloset.homestead.com ~*~*~*~*~*~*I need inspiration~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~
My Thoughts:
My thought focuses on many people. I recently felt this quote I found can relate to so many people but mostly, I am
referring to teenagers, who are still growing up.
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
This quote means so much to me because today, in this world, so many people are judgemental and are inconsiderate
of others feelings.
Take this quote into mind. Use it. It will help down the road.
My Thoughts:
I'm on a spiritual quest. I started this quest when I turned 50. I'm still a novice, a beginner. Each day I discover more
about myself, some things that I like and some things that I would like to change. I just discovered this location
today.
You can be sure I'll be back. Life can be such a wonderful journey.
Christie
My Thoughts:
it all begins with a tiny step. a breath. to breathe in commitment and exhale contentment. but the breath needs
filtering...sort of an alien experience...like being from another planet. We must filter the breath to find the commitment.
Breathe it in, fully, slowly, purposefully and hold it there so it nourishes the heart, heals the wounds. Exhale
contentment. Again and again. Stop breathing and the result is obvious. I ask myself, am I ready to breathe the purity
of commitment? Pollution is a habit. Time for me to work on change. Breathe.
My Thoughts:
Today I want to share my thoughts with you and they are very personal but I figure that it is a way to help others as
well. I lost my sister a few weeks ago and she was a young woman, talented and full of spirituality and even though Im
still in shock at the whole thing I have come to realize one important thing and that is to enjoy life and the gifts that
offers us each day. Some people have the chance to travel to different places and they take that for granted when there
is nothing more magnificent than seeing the wonders of the world but with the eyes of the spirit. My advice to everyone
is to enjoy the wonders of life, enjoy the sunset, enjoy the beach, enjoy a simple dinner with your family, enjoy a
romantic evening with your partner, just enjoy with gusto and wondering eyes. Remember that life is a gift and we
should love every minute with have with sincere love.
Ana Maria
My Thoughts:
Im a simple woman who happens to think life is a wonderful gift most human take for granted and it shouldnt be that
way. Today watching the tv show Everyday Elegance with Colin Cowie I come te realize that some people have
incredible blessings that they should be thankful about and it came to me how we dont put a bit of beautifullness to our
lifes.
I admire Colin because he is a simple and elegant man who knows how to enjoy his work and his life style but we dont
need to have much money to do so, we can enjoy life even if we are middle class people. We can make dinners more
beautiful just we a touch of flowers and color napkins to our tables, also we can enjoy lunch at the patio from time to
time or may be eat at the kitchen making it creative and pretty looking. We just get to wrapped up with work and
stress when we should be enjoying the beauty of life.
Angelina Bach
My Thoughts:
I walked along the beach early this morning -- something I've just begun to do again - after a long time away. I've
missed this time of reflection. I wonder why I've allowed myself to ignore this part of my environment. . . I live less than
200 yards from the place that brings me supreme peace and gratitude. . . I've allowed life to get in the way. . . I look at
the shells as I walk, daring not to touch them all, for touching them creates a connection and to throw one back
because it is not "perfect" is like throwing a person away who is not "perfect." Why do we do that to people? Judge
them? Label them? Ignore them? That is not our role on this earth. . . You see, the shells are us. Broken, weathered,
withered, glistening, and forever rolling with the tides - riding out the storms, sparkling in the newness of a day,
waiting to connect with someone who comes along and touches us. . . . ~ a Florida beach walker
My Thoughts:
I don't know if Im living in the wrong century but I still believe in knights in shinning armor. To me a knight and
shinnig armor is a man who is first of all sincere, tender, valient, inteligent, loyal and sentimental, maybe someone like
this is hard to find but I know he is alive some place on this earth.
I was about to leave my quest of ever finding me, after my sister's passing to heaven I began to experience fear, an
incredible fear of failure. I still have that fear but something inside of me tells me to go on with my quest. Ever since I
can remember I have been waiting for this modern knight and even though I had more hopes before, Im not ready to
let go of this dream.
Shoul I stop dreaming of finding this true love or should I go on, this is my question to God. If someone could inspire
me with an answer my life will be a bit easier.
Where is my knight and shinning armor?
Ana Maria
My Thoughts:
Being one with God means walking the road less traveled in life. Try it sometime it is absolutely wonderful to
experience. -Melissa
My Thoughts:
I have nothing profound to say. Though I want to have something lasting profound to leave behind me. I have lived
over half my life and the next or the rest of my life I wonder what is expected of me or can I live for me for once. I
want my girls to know that I love them and that they are my life. Children do that for some reason, make you live for
them. I wonder if my mother lived for me. I miss my mother even today. Thirty years has passed since her death, and
the pain and the void is still there. Will there be that void there for my girls. I don't want a void to be there. I want a
pleasure there in knowing that I was a good mother. Im not a typical mother, Im like a sister, a friend to my girls. They
tell me so many personal things that no mother ought to hear. That is the way I want it, I want them to be comfortable.
I don't judge them. I protect them. Im entering another phase of my life. Thursday will tell if I will be here to make a
difference in the world. Its going to be a day Iv waited for for months. Maybe I won't be alone anymore, I want to love
again before I die. I want to laugh, love, and share life with somebody special. This rose wants to bloom again.
My Thoughts:
May God Bless You, "Rose"
My Thoughts:
I am waiting for my Knight in Shining Armor -- I know that he is out there and that the Universe will present him to me when it is time. I will wait till then...
My Thoughts:
Life was made for living.
My Thoughts:
If you want to succeed you have to believe you can.
My Thoughts:
It is early morning, and I've just nursed my three- and-a-half month-old baby girl and put her back to bed. What a gift from God she is! As I struggle with other challenges in my life -- being a working mom and new parent, trying to still find time to be a loving wife, and searching for a way to permanently loose a considerable amount of weight -- I need to remember how very lucky I am to have this tiny, precious being in my life. Sometimes when I gaze at her I still can't believe she is "my daughter." There's nothing like the birth of child to add clarity to your life; I'm no longer confused about what the priorities should be in my life. I need only look at
Kaylee, and there is my answer. -- Karen
My Thoughts:
I'm so excited that I found this site. This is going to be a neat place for me to open up and write down all my thoughts.
My Thoughts:
Today was boring an i dident get to see my boyfriend
My Thoughts:
Dear Diary:
I started a new job yesterday, I was transfered to another department of the building I work in, another transition to go to. First I lose my sister and now one month after I have a new job, so many beginnings in such short time. I feel like a fish out of the sea in this new job, it will take getting use to since
I was for many years in the other department.
I need to find time for myself and for my healing process, I need to do some interior work in me so I will let go of my pain and also all the new feelings Im feeling of fear and somewhat panic. I need to meditate and do breathing exercises, I have heard of Tai Chi, some people say is extraordinary for the mind, soul and body, so I will go in search of some video o book that will help me with some simple exercises to start a new routine. I know that right now I need to focus in me and my healing.
Ana Maria
My Thoughts:
What does it mean to let yourself down? What do u do to be a disappointment to yourself? I feel that I have the key to unlock the doors to these questions. But I keep the answers close to me so I don't disappoint or let down those close to me. I'm afraid to let them see the truth. I know that if I was happy with the person who I am there would be no reason to hurt others or myself. It's not easy to be friends with the person you have to look at in the mirror day after day. I want to find joy in who I am. I will find joy in who I am. But it will take time,
patientce, and courage to face the reality. I will emerge from the cacoon that now incases the old me to emerge and become the beautiful butterfly that is aching to get out and experience the the old world with new wings.
My Thoughts:
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* From:Diariest I wish that I could find a place where I could go where other diariest meet such as I .I long for someone like me that like to write in a diary or journal it helps a great deal to write your thoughts on the pages I have written in 62 diaries and I long for more I love to write and I still wish that I could find someone I really need someone that we can share our ideas if anyone want to share over
internet Then email me:diariest@suite101.com.I will email you back and we can share ideas over the internet female or male. From Diariest To ALL FELLOW DIARIEST ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My Thoughts:
i haven't written for awhile and i really miss it. i've felt like something has missing in my life and i hope i can figure out what it is because i feel so down. i feel like i'm all alone although tere are so many people surrounding me.i also feel distant from god the one thing i reelly need in my life right now. ijust prey that god can feel this emptiness i'm feeling. and i can start shinig through.
My Thoughts:
I think I've found a friend. This is my first time at this site. I hold onto the thought that "we are where we are supposed to be". I have felt an uneasiness for so long. I yearn for feeling "at peace". What am I missing? I feel so lonely even though I am so busy with life.
I want to be happy with someone. I long to love someone. I have so much love to give. God, are you preparing that perfect person for me? I will be patient then.
My soul longs for - rainy days - walks in the woods - canoe trips - mornings in the mountains - walks on the beach -travels to see God's wonders - laughter - friends/family - a good book - moonlight - sunrise and sunsets - a garden to
toil in - a life to love! Love and God Bless, Deb
My Thoughts:
hello, my name is lori jean. i hope noone ever takes a breath for granted. we are all here today to experience what it is to be human, and to error is human. so if your having one of those days where nothing seems to go your way or if your constantly dwelling on your mistakes in life, i want you to stop right now! and
remember everyone has the capability to be hitler or mother mary teresa. all these superficial images we all have of some people, for instance, either someone is just plain good or just plain rotten, are very wrong. just as in yin and yang, there's a little evil in the good and a little good in evil. it's what makes the world go round. one of my biggest mistakes in life changed me for the better, what i mean is that my son was an unplanned pregnancy or an "accident" as it is most commonly refered to. but everytime i
look into his big blue eyes i'm reminded of what unconditional love is all about. sometimes i am so overcome by his love i cry. without my "mistake" i would not be living the good life of a loving mother and a loving housewife, instead i would probibly be somewhere totaly different doing the opposite of what i do here everyday which is try to spread as much love as i can muster, and i am so thankful for that.
believe it or not so many people have been shamed growing up, even in little ways, some are ashamed or embarrassed to be themselves. some children think that thier parents only love them when they are not acting like themselves, mabey the parent wants the children to act a certain way or yell when the children are harmlessly having a little fun, or some parents try to live out thier own dreams through thier children and that is also very wrong. we are all put here on earth to be our own unique selves, how are children to know this if they grow up
thinking noone will love me if i act like myself, so usually they take over thier parents personalities since they know them the best and do the same to thier children. it's the great circle of shaming, and it needs to stop! the only problem: how do you teach everyone living on this planet that we are all different from everybody else and there is nothing wrong with that.
My Thoughts:
Today is hard for me. I am going through some painful decisions of letting go of my youngest child and helping her to go on her way. It has come to a point that she needs her own place and I hate to let her go. She is now 21 years old and it has been really hard living in the same house. She is an adult and she needs to be on her own. I never thought that it would be so hard. I know that we raise them to let them go and I do want to, but I worry that something bad could happen to her and I just want to protect her. She and I have been fighting a lot lately
and I know it is because she wants to "do her thing," and I am probably in the way. How do you let go and still feel that everything will be okay?
My Thoughts:
I love being able to come to this web to write all my thoughts down. I'm feeling so good today and I feel so welcome in this awsome world I hope everybody can see the joy in life as I do right now.
My Thoughts:
July 11, 20000 This is truly one of the most beautiful sites on the web.It has much valuable information for the search for my inner self. Thank you. I will be returning again and again. Sending all of you light on your journey, Susan Toronto,Canada
My Thoughts:
Feeling stuck in life with much anxiety and fear for the future, today was very rewarding. I took a day off from my redundant desk job (stuck in a cubicle) to just get things done that might help me not feel so stuck. This site was wonderful to visit and add to my file of bookmarks!
My Thoughts:
Hi I woke up today feeling good and I went for a run. But I am so tired now I just want to crash. I have so much to do and not a lot of time.
My Thoughts:
Hi i'm feeling a lot better i actually feel like i have friends again. i went out with some old friends last night and it felt so good not to be alone. i've really been trying hard to tolerate my sister but it seems like the harder i try the more frusterated i get. i feel good and energetic althogh i'm kind of disapointed i didnt go run this morning. i hope everyone is having a wonderful day.
My Thoughts:
Sometime life throws us a curve ball that we nevr could have expected. Just when we think we're
headed in one direction... life takes another turn.
but maybe this turn is necessary on the path to geting to where we need to go.
My Thoughts:
Hi I haven't writen for a while but I went out last night and it was really fun to do some things with my friends. i'm playing in a softball tournament this weekend and it's been a lot of fun. I'm playing with some guys who I didnt talk to much before but they've really turned out to be cool. Me and my sister are not understanding each other real well I just don't understand her. I'm so exited just to relax tonight. My grandmas coming over and she always brings joy to our house. I hope everybody has a nice night.
My Thoughts:
Hi i'm feeling very tired today and my body is pretty worn out. i just got done playing in a softball tournament. i felt like i did pretty good but i don't understand why some people get so competative. its starting to rain outside and there is no where else i'd rather be than inside watching a good movie. i love the rain but i feel a little lonely i have my family and everything but sometimes i just want that soulmate to be with me. will i ever find that persoin i can spend the rest of my life with? how long do i have to wait although there are times i love just being by myself and not even thinking about anyone.
My Thoughts:
sOMETIMES I FEEL SO HOPELESS. I HAVE SO MUCH IN THIS WORLD BUT IT SEEMS MY BODY JUST WON'T DO WHAT IT NEEDS TO. I FEEL LIKE ALL I'VE BEEN DOING IS EATING BUT I ALWAYS WANT MORE. MY WEIGHT IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND AND I GET SO SCARED OF GAINING WEIGHT EVEN THOUGH DEEP DOWN I KNOW MY BODY WILL BE FINE IF I GAIN A COUPLE POUNDS. I KNOW I'M BUAETIFUL NO MATTER MY SIZE.
My Thoughts:
i love myself. i love that i am athletic. i love that i am good at most everything i try. i love that i'm not afraid to try new things. i love that i have a lot of friend. i love that i'm outgoing. i love that i'm independant. i love that i can be alone and still be happy. i love that i am never bored and can always find something to do. i love that i am able to work on things so i can always improve myself. i love that i love to run. i love that i'm srong. i love that i'm healthy. i love that i have such an
awsome family. i love that i like to meet new people. i love that i'm not shy. i love that i'm able to do everything that i love to do. i love that i'm able to walk. i love that i'm able to talk and listen. i love that i'm smart. i love that i have a voice and i can use it. i love that i'm a women. i love having three sisters and being close to them. i love that i can help people out. i love that i can see. i love watching the seasons change. i love that i have food to eat. i love that i have a computer that i can share my thoughts on. i love that i can read. i love that i can hear. i love the sound of rain. i love to watch the rain. i even love to walk in the rain. i love that i love myself. i love god. i love that i have angels watching over me. i love that i am proud of who i am. i love my hair. i love my body. i love my eyes. i love this world i live in. i love that i am able to grow each day in all areas of my life. i love the lessons i learn each day. but above all i love myself.
My Thoughts:
Thanks to our spiritual dimension, which can be defined as the aspect of ourselves that does not believe in limitations because it does not experience them, we can challenge the most basic boundaries that enclose us. -Deepak Chopra
¤Matilda¤
My Thoughts:
this is the first time I am writing here. I am so glad this site exists. my journey of insight began before i was even aware of it. lately though i have had to notice. going through a seperation and trying to learn to love myself for the first time, it is hard work. the more i love myself the more i realize how so many of the men i chose did not. the hardest thing i am having to face is the reality that some people are so damaged that no amount of love and understanding can heal them. they are so closed off to the love that does exist in this world, it is really sad. Especially, when you care about them. i read somewhere that sometimes you just have to cross the bridge and move on, when others are ready they will do the same. tabli
My Thoughts:
I am so glad to be alive. This world is such a beautiful place.
My Thoughts:
I haven't called my husband for a month. How can i ignore his selfcentered behavior towards me. How can people be so cruel as to not be available to their loved ones when thy are sick. I get so lonely though, no one to do things with. My friends are either married or dating seriously and have limited time for me. I am so scared of ending up alone all my life, yet I am not willing to be hurt and ignored by someone who claims to love me. I need some single friends. Tabli
My Thoughts:
Hi i hope everybodies having a good day. i'm really trying to teach myself how to type and i'm hoping if i type to this site everyday i'll be able to learn soon.
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Diariest here .Just thanking God that I am here my writing is getting better I am learning and understanding myself at one point in my life I was just writing but now I am writing because I need to chance and I love to write my thoughts in the pages of my diaries.There is nothing like it.
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My one question today is will i ever find that one guy thats right for me? i feel like i'm all alone in a world so big. How am i ever gonna find that one guy that's right for me. Please god just help me to find the right guy for me at the right time.
My Thoughts:
Today I was thinking about my life and trying to get things in order....like that would ever happen...but I was thinking about what the thing was that caused the most grief in my life so I could better deal with it...and I came to some conclusions:
1. It is very easy to be hurt when you care about someone more than they care about
you.
2. Its always good to have something to do when you are angry. Channeling excess anger and energy into something good is a good idea.
3. You can't always depend on people just because they say you always can.
4. Time can be both an evil and a blessing, and sometimes both at once.
5. Sometimes is harder to NOT do anything than to do something.
6. Being lonely is worse than being poor.
Thats all for now....I'm feeling pretty low on the totem pole today.
Peace and Strength, ~Annie
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What do you do when the only people who are able to dry your tears are the ones that are making you cry? ~Annie
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hi everybody hope everybody is full of joy.
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I wake up with a fresh, new, positive start in the morning.. but then my brother comes along and it seems the day is ruined. I hate fights, I don't think I start it, but I can never remember, why the fights, how the fights... I want to love him, but why does he have to push me away or try to annoy me?
My Thoughts:
Deep inside each of us, in places nobody likes to think about, lurk our gods and monsters. The distinction between the two can be a very fine line sometimes. Most people like to think of themselves as civilised, as rational beings incapable of the inhumanities, the atrocities, the sheer animalities which fill evening media reports. But in truth, we are the people whom we read about. We are those savages whom we see on the television nightly. No one can sink to a depth of evil that does not exist in the best of his brethren, nor can one rise to a goodness that cannot be found in the most despicable of his compatriots. The world is rife with the stench of Humanity's foulness, yet perfumed with her nobility. It is my most fervent wish that we survive as a species long enough, that the sweet fragrance of our Humanity, overpowers the sickly odor of it.
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As someone with a chronic disease, it sometimes hard to be upbeat and optimistic. And doing it alone, my Husband died 15 yrs ago, is not easy. But I remember the words of my Grandmother, "this to will pass, and God's love is never-failing," have helped me keep me sanity. I have journaled ever since my husband died, and I believe has helped me to keep perspective in this ever-changing world. Thank you for this "My Thoughts" site. Jeanne
My Thoughts:
Writing in a public forum seems a little awkward to me but I'm sure it will, at some point, come easily. I've been writing and keeping a journal for years but have found myself closing off and not being honest with myself concerning my emotions. Not that my life is bad, just my interpretation is a bit skewed. Being content is one thing, happiness is another.
My Thoughts:
Trying to fall easily through this life, sometimes I feel as if I am falling too fast. At other times I feel like I am just floating. As life goes on, though I feel I am falling farther from where I should be. Perhaps, this is why we die.
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It is such a wonderful thing to express yourself in words. To put on paper what is bottled up in your mind and your very being. I've only recently learned how rewarding it is to journal. This website allowed me to see that I am not alone in life's struggles. We all have circumstances to deal with and we are not alone. Life offers some very challenging situations. It's how we handle them is where our strengh lies. It's great to XPRS YRSLF! Peace!
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FOR GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER, OF LOVE, AND OF A SOUND MIND.
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Every now and again my sweetie and I go to the dog pound and look over the pups. We are in no position to have a
dog just yet, but it's fun to day dream. We could have that Boston Terrier and name her Bubba Jean, or this here Basset
Hound and call him Phipps. There are always little notes the pound staff likes to write about each dog. "Blackie likes to DIG!" Which means you can kiss those flower beds good bye. "Bashia is not good with children." Letting you know that with Basia you will be the lady with the fat, mean dog. The dog that makes all the neighborhood kids cry when she goes out for a walk. Todays favorite was a weenie dog named Tina who is "A nice old lady, but needs her teeth brushed." We keep going because, well, someday we will be able to get a dog that we love. And also because someday I hope to see a note on a kennel that says "Freckles likes to drag his behind on the carpet." That will be my favorite day!
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HI VALERIE!
I just read your great interview with Salle Redfield, and needed to share a quote from one of Sonaya Roman's books, which relates to the creation of your wonderful web site!
"When things happen effortlessly, and doors open, it is not only because you are on your own higher path, but you are weaving it into the higher vision for all mankind"!
My life works like this all the time and I love it! I just do what Oprah told us in 1987 when I met her in Fort
Lauderdale: "I totally listen to my inner voice guiding me, and I believe that is God talking to me"! "And if I have doubts about something, I don't do it"!
THANK YOU FOR CREATING A FABULOUS WEB SITE!
ANGEL HUGS! SusanADvorak@aol.com
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It's been a busy day just like every day. How I would love to remove so much of the "clutter" from my life. It has been wonderful to discover peace within and to experience moments of peace away from all the noise. -- Just a thought:) P
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Is it ever too late to begin soul searching? Sometimes I feel that it is something that I should have started at least a half a lifetime ago. I know it is never too late and yet I can't seem to convince my inner self of that. The ups and downs, the quick mood swings; the knowing where I am and where I'm going, but wanting it to change and yet not to change. I want to be happy with the way it all is....but I feel guilty wanting it. And that makes for unhappiness. I need to learn how to soul search. Is it a reasonable quest.....can it really be learned? My quest is to find the answer to this and then apply what is learned.
My Thoughts:
It is never too late to search your soul for the answers you need to mold your life into what you want it to be. You have already taken the first step, which is realizing your desire to soulsearch and looking to start doing so. I congratulate
you. It is a truely wonderful thing to do, and it really does have a very positive impact on your life and the lives of those around you. It has changed the way I look at the world. It can be learned if you are open to it. Its not something that can be learned by reading a book or following instructions...it comes from within. Best of luck to you.
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This is a quick, 5 minute entry. I feel I am being held back, financially...I applied for a job and they(my potential employers) have not gotten back to me...they are offering 9 dollars an hour for very monotonous factory work...but it is the money I need...not the tedium...so I have to put up with the tedium until I get back into classes to find out what *I* want to do, not what my English teacher or my dad wanted for me. I need the money to find a place of my own to explore the new aspects of my changing beliefs and not be judged by my dad, a Methodist minister. Anyone know of any way to intuitively pray or set up a sacred space to help the money situation along? Anything along those lines???
A soul-searcher, beginning all over again.
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Calgone take me away, better yet the shores of Lake MI. What a day of work. Took a resident to the doctor's office today and my soul has been sucked dry, my heart aches, angry and tired. Someone who lives where I work is not taking care of herself and she is much younger than most everyone else. If she continues in this self destructive path, which she says is going to happen anyway, she will lose one or both legs due to her own choices. I am mad at her. I know there is nothing I can do but talk to her and try to encourage her. Talked to our ADON before I clocked out now I'm just trying to unwind before I go home and enjoy the weekend. Feels good to sit here in the quiet and close my eyes. Feeling better already. Thanks, your friend, P :)
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Feeling somewhat confused. I feel bombarded with all these spiritual self-help books and websites that sound so wonderful! I was raised primarily as a Christian, but parts of Christianity don't work for me very well anymore. I am trying to decide what I truly believe about the Universe and the Deity. Feeling like I have to choose exactly what I believe before trying to find a mate...or maybe I should find a mate who is just as confused as I am and join him in his own spiritual quests. There is one young man who might fit the bill, but he does not really want to try to figure out his emotions and beliefs. It's like he wants to stay where he is, and this frustrates me, because ultimately, I am his friend, and I know all too well that I cannot personally "save him." Nor can I commit the soul-to-soul crime of forcing him to any particular religion. But he says he feels he has no real reason for living and he wants to commit suicide. This scares me a great deal...if any of you would want to offer prayers, I would appreciate it greatly...
Anna, the soul-searcher beginning again
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There is no reasoning to the thing we call "life". What is the purpose of doing anything, we just die. To me dying is the best part of life, eternal happiness. There is no more hunger, no more being alone, no more being afraid, no more of anything that make people want to hurt their fellow man.
My Thoughts:
Don't complain or fell sorry for yourself for the things you don't have. Look at what you do have and feel grateful.
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Being alone at night, when the room is dark and the silence overpowering-Reaching out to touch-only the
emptyness-the longer and longer nights
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I wonder if the rain is really God crying?
Anna Marie
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I believe that there is a total reasoning in life. There are times when it seems debatable but in the longrun, there is a reason for every season. We are put here for a purpose, to fufill something, wheather we see it or not.
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!?From the soul?!.....my first glance into the mirror must have been taught chains surrounding my candy coated imagery loved for a material i shed my diamond and exist as the rough the soultry abyss thats been diluted so by this soluable of hatred and perplexing torment thats become my purgatory "livelyhood" trapped in the ever contorted oubliette of my own passion i long for that of another my favorite blanket no longer keeps me warm and i know no other will suffice ART1 albuquerque nm
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I have strayed from my spirituality in the past year and it has had a profound affect on my well-being. When I'm seeking the answers, when I need them the most, they're always retreating. But when I allow myself to let go, and just take each moment as it comes, they're so easily discovered. Patience with myself and with the world is essential but oh-so-hard to find.
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I have been going through self help for about the past year....sometimes willingly sometimes pushing myself somtimes dragging and kicking. I spoke with my sister today. It was nice. She seems to accept me for who I am. I definitely accept her for who she is, so why wouldn't she right? One day at a time.
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If there is a reason that we are living, why welcome death so soon? And why suicide? I know too many people that would rather commit suicide than try to live life in general...I have seen them fight the internal battle of who they are vs. society's idea of who they should be, and they would rather die via suicide than conform...I do not see either way as noble. I would rather live and be myself(whoever I am) and find someone who is just as wonderfully phenomenally wacky as I am(there's BOUND to be someone!). THAT to me is part of living!
My Thoughts:
3 years ago I went suicidal, for many reasons. But through the support of friends and teachers I have come a very long way. As I look back on it all, I know it all happened for a reason. If I didn't go through what I went through, I wouldn't be as strong today and my life wouldn't be nearly as good. The shell of something might seem terrible and disasterous but with time, the deep inner core can be strenghtening. I'm not saying being suicidal is a good thing...it is NOT...but it *has* made me stronger.
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YES! I finally have the job I've wanted since July and the beginning of this month! It's factory work, yes, but I'll be more able to pay bills, etc.! Not that I want to do factory work forever; I don't. But still, it's better than low-income, stressful restaurant work.
My Thoughts:
I have vowed to follow my heart and follow my dreams... I know that when I am living "on
purpose,"
God and the Universe will meet my needs.
My Thoughts:
I vow to listen to my soul and live an authentic life.
My Thoughts:
I started collecting quotes as a hobby back in Boston over 13 years ago. Now that I'm back "home" in Arizona I continue to collect...and share...quotes. Here are two recent acquisitions: "Work like you don't need the money. Love
like you've never been hurt. Dance like no one is looking." And, "Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
My Thoughts:
Everyone has a moment in history which particually belongs to him. It is the moment when his emotions achieve their most powerful sway over him, and afterward when you say to this person "the world today" or "life" or "reality" he will asume that you mean this moment, even if it is fifty years past. From "A Seperate Peace" by John Knowles.
I found this quote quite interesting. Its not every day someone actually thinks to that depth now is it? Kim
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I am 14 years old and even though I haven't been living long I have learnd a lot about life. I learned that everywhere in life there are going to people that down you, and say that you aren't good enough, so in life I learned that I have to give not only my all but more, but I know in the end I will make it. Even though I wan't to give up I keep going, cause I know that tomorrow the sun will shine a little bit brighter with that extra ray of light that will give me the hope that one day I will be on top. I could always cry when the world lets me down but I it hold in and us the hurt and anger as
more power to do my best. I also have faith in god. Some say that prayer doesn't help
and it is a wate of time. Some say that god won't love them because of what they have done in there life, but god will always love you. He doesn't hate the person he hates the sin. He will always be there to listen no matter what you have done. So pray to god and you will start to see that extra bright ray of sun in the morning. God bless!!!
My Thoughts:
My thoughts..... HHHMMMMMM .... I have so many! You know the ones about how do I get through another day when the last several days have wiped me out. Or how do I out of bed when I want so desperately to still be deep asleep. 2 years ago, my life was not close to what I wanted life to be. I was unhappy, and fearful, and angry - that I didn't know what to change in my life. I didn't even know where to start or what was wrong. Then I found my faith and made a
decision that changed my life. I guess you could say I have a motto I carry withing me concerning life ...... That decision was not to do ANYTHING that I wouldn't do if it did not make my soul sing. You see music makes my soul sing, the laughter of children, and long passionate thunderstorms, and waves lapping upon my feet - the joys that God put here to enjoy. These are some of the things that make my soul sing. I chose from now on to do only those things that I would do if I so rich that all of my friends and family were taken care of - what would i do? As I have answered that question over and over again - I have found that those are the things I do. Yes, it is hard, some of the things that make my soul sing require lots of hard work. Like school - I enjoy it so much but I have no social life. I love my job and everyone knows a job means responsibilty and commitment - even on days I would rather be on the beach. Somedays when I am in bed not wanting to leave the haven of blankets i must ask myself - So, will staying in bed make your soul sing?
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Dear Lord, please watch over my mother tonight. Please help her to heal. Please bring her back home to us soon.
We love her so much!
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the feel of the wind and watching the wind in the trees can give the greatest peace. sunny
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i feel so confused i have everything i could possibly want but there is that one thing i'm missing. all i could ask for is that one phone call from that one special person, we could have so much fun together. i just wish he wanted it as much as i do. well until we meet again i'll keep praying
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Today, I visited my omcologist for an update on my condidtion, which is an advanced melanoma. There was lot controversey about the diagnosis of my condition six years ago, but I have been
very assertive about getting treayment and tried to put my bitter thoughts behind me. That said, I'm not having a particularly hard time dealing with idea if dying, but about the circumstances, ssuch as the loss ofvarious functions. I swrite in my dail journal but it doesn't seem to work. mombarb0224 2aol.com
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hi i'm just getting ready to leave for cross country practice i love running. it is so spiritual. i just wish more people would realize it. i'm starting another school year tomarrow but i'm kinda looking forward to it, i'm just going to enjoy each day and take it for what it's worth.
My Thoughts:
Why do we allow ourselves to get so bogged down with trivia and the mundane? Why do we willingly become overly involved in another individual's drama and trauma? When will we realize what is truly precious and savor each moment? Relish the present; it's all we have!
Mae
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Be careful where you step...Watch what you eat...Sleep with a light and you got it beat.<p> Snow is gonna come...Frost is gonna bite,my old car froze up last night. I'm not gonna hang my head,because I could wake up in the morning dead. Dave
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Today the beginning of a three day holiday. Hot and must stay in. Catching up on laundry, got shopping done. Getting time to read and do internet. Got a date with husband tommorrow. THings look good. Renee'
My Thoughts:
Everyday he came down the stairs. Everyday he said the same words to me: " Close those curtains". He did not like the sun coming in through the windows of the new sunroom I had built in his absence. " it makes the room hot" he kept commenting, though he never sat there and though the room was never hot. The moment the curtains were opened he would shout: " pull them down, pull them down" with a fervor as if something bad was about to come in through the
windows. HIS HOUSE was dark and cold, MY HOUSE was sunny and warm, a celebration of light and color and everything that was beauty and energy.
It was not the state of our house, it was the state of our minds. His was a dark chamber, full of forbiddens and taboos. Things were inherently bad, shameful and evil.
I drew the curtains. I remembered the last time I was with Zack. He asked me: " Where are you now? ", " I see myself in a sunny place." I said. " Is it an island?" he inquired, somewhat worried. I looked around with my eyes closed as they are mostly when I am with him : " No, I do not think it is a place on the map, I think it is a place in the mind." , " Yes" he whispered to me and I could feel his smile " Yes, Now you are where you should be."
I set down the thermostat of our central air conditioning. I AM FREE. I was born free, no one can put limits on my dreams , thoughts or emotions but me. The 'institution' maybe able to control various parts of my body and psyche at different times, but nobody can cover the sun that is shining inside me. No one can stop the songs in my heart, the colours of my mind. There is only one real prison in this world ; the one we capture ourselves in.
Jass60
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I pray that my dreams will be realized in the very near future.
My Thoughts:
My husband of eighteen years was killed in an auto accident last year. The resulting chaos and revelations have led me to a spiritual crises, the likes of which I have never known. There have been days when the pros of taking my life have
outweighed the cons.
This is not a matter of missing my husband. It is the realization of how unhappy and abnormal our life together had been. I had adapted to and loved a man who could not love me in return, no matter how much I wanted to believe he cared.
My husband kept many secrets from me, many of which have resulted in my being sued and having to pay penalties throughout these months following his death. My future is being snatched away piece by piece.
Beyond the belief that my two precious children were meant to be born, I have no idea as to my purpose in life. Nothing seems to matter. My only comfort is knowing there are loving relatives who could raise my children, if necessary.
What drew me to this web site was the journaling aspect, which I happened to see mentioned in Health Magazine. I started journaling in January of this year, and have processed the main themes of my journals into several poems.
These endeavors have helped me maintain my sanity throughout this nightmare.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Stephanie
(StephanieinSF@aol.com)
My Thoughts:
You have the devinity of gods, the purity of symbols, and the shortcomings of
other mortals.
The mixture is potent.
Yasmin
My Thoughts:
I have just received the Lord again. I've done this many times, but have
never followed through with it. But this time, things are different! I am
seventeen years old and have never felt any better. I've had rough times and
I've had easy times. Now I know exxactly what to do do and say and when to say
it. Signed: Muffy, Florida
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Anonymous
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So if I am doing the right thing, why do I hurt so much? He was bad for me
and I made him go - for the first time I chose me over someone else. But now all
I want is to take it back and hear him say he loves me and it's all a mistake.
When someone chooses you it fills you up. When they un-choose you, it leaves an
empty sick place inside.
In the quiet though, when I let myself hear the voice which
guides, it says just let go, please let it go. You have made room in your life
for someone wonderful and now you only have to believe you deserve it.
I think that sounds worth working towards. T
My Thoughts:
I am thanking God for yet another outlet for my seemingly endless reservoir
of dreams, thoughts, and overwhelming emotion. I thank God most of all for all
the moments I am allowed to meet kindred spirits, as in this site. How
absolutely wonderful that there is a forum such as this, and what comfort I have
found here tonight in souls bared, and in confidences shared. I find myself
hopeful, yet still somewhat bewildered by the spiritual quest I began
approximately 6 years ago and am convinced I shall always be on this quest,
albeit in different lessons. I feel that the journey itself is surely more
important and fulfilling than the destination itself. *Marianne*
My Thoughts:
I have felt an aching in my soul for so long...I know that somewhere out
there, true love awaits. I believe that my soul-mate exists, yet I have not met
him. I get the distinct impression, both in my heart and in readings and
horoscopes, that our paths may cross soon. I pray that I remain aware of all
that comes to pass every moment so that I do not unwittingly let long-awaited
love and happiness slip away. My heart literally feels as if it is about to
burst, aching with the love I long to give to the one person whom it was meant
for. I do not want to regret one moment of my life, or wake up to find one day
that I had a chance at happiness and let it slip away. I feel as if everything
in the world could fall away, as long as I was able to love to my full capacity,
for eternity. I just wish it were happening in my life at this very moment, yet
I know that all is revealed at the proper time, all according to His divine
plan. How I wish I were in that moment now, in love and loved in return, for
this love to really be THE ONE I've hoped for and dreamed about for so long.
Until then, I shall be living my life while carrying this love in my heart and
anticipating the glorious moment when I can share it all with that special,
one-of-a-kind man. *Marianne*
My Thoughts:
I have visited this site often. The feelings expressed are beautiful. Thank
goodness there is a place for positive reflection on everyday living. Everything
in my life was perfect. I was doing what I wanted to do. I volunteer/help with
children and child issues for my area. I love it. I thought I had found my
purpose. Then......In a few short weeks I became so ill. Ignoring the illness
only made it worse. Now I'm forced to stay quiet and still (Not my style) so
that I may recover. Why? I ask myself. Why did this happen now? I thought that
what I was doing was important. Why have I been made to stop everything? I guess
this is my time to reflect on my path. I need to learn to be quiet and still and
listen to my inner self. I thought I was doing that, but obviously I was wrong.
Obviously, I was running to fast. Now I sit and listen. I sit and read the words
in this site. I am still learning, but this is a beautiful place to come and
just....be. Thank you.
My Thoughts:
Hi! This is Diariest... I am here to add a little note of what is going on
with me. I have no diary and I am due for one I feel naked and I feel very
uncomfortable without a diary. From this day forward I will not run out of
Diaries I will continue to have a diary . BEcause it is who I am .And it is what
I do.
My Thoughts:
I have the made the bold and courageous move to follow my dream. I know deep
inside my heart that I have made the right decision. I am honoring my authentic
self. I have total faith that God and the Universe will take care of me.
My Thoughts:
I am going through the most painful time of my life.I am thinking of
divorcing husband I am a writer and I am gooin gthrough hell someone help me
Write me at my web page http:Writerscloset.homestead.com
My Thoughts:
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I vow to cherish every moment of every day.
My Thoughts:
Never ask anyone the question "What do you think I should do?" because only you know wht is right for you. cmj
My Thoughts:
Today I am beginning to see the sunshine through the clouds. You could say I'm waking up to all of my blessings.
My Thoughts:
Wow, I am thinking of thougts presented here today.
Life is worth living.
We are all connected to the light the source of goodness and truth.
peace be unto you all
My Thoughts:
What an incredibly beautiful fall day it is today! I am going to go for a joyous walk. *Diarist*
My Thoughts:
Remember to take a deep breath every time you see something beautiful. In time, you will learn to focus on the beauty in all things.
My Thoughts:
Diariest--Journalers: Inspiration for writing is in life. A Wheelbarrow, a flower, a window pane and even the things we look past: like the window sill. Life is inspiration. Writers only notice the things that others over look; I've been noticing things for ten years. I am young. I have more to see. And when I don't see them--when something in me refuses to notice the little things, then I stare for hours at the big things and open my journal and write: "What do I want to write about?" I say, "I want to write about oceans and scents and mermaids. I want to write about broken homes and hearts and pin cushions. I want to write about a grandmother making an afghan or a child building a house out of popsicle sticks. I want to write about stick men who talk and teach me how to write." Try that. Write what you want to write about. But remember: no matter what shade it comes in, no matter how many words, how colorful or long or flowery: in the end, you are still writing about YOU, and how you notice things. Writing is all I have and I treasure it with my life. I will always treasure it. Without it, I'd crumble. If I don't write for three days, I get cranky. It is my free therapy; my channel; my listener and complainer. But what's more: I am writing to me about me, and only I know it. I hope everyone sees pleasure in everything they write, even if it's what Kafka wrote from time to time, plus countless others: "I have no heart to write today." Tomorrow you will.
--CMR
My Thoughts:
Hi! this is Diariest I am a old diary writer I have been writing for about 24 years And I am getting bored witht he same way of journaling BUt I will not stop writing in my journals,I just need some new ideas.Can anyone help me via-email me:
Diariest@suite101.com And you can log on to my new exciting web page:
www.DearDiary1.homestead.com/JournalingSecrets.html Log into it you may find some useful info
My Thoughts:
i just stumbled onto this site, and i havent read yet what is about but i felt like venting. One day i'll be able to look in the mirror, breathe in the air, and learn to accept myself and live life once more, but the road inbetween is like the worse torture in the world. I've always gotten down on myself but my determination ofself un happiness has manifested it self physically and mentally to extreme points, i look and feel like garbage and nothing seems to help me, i don't even know what keeps me going except for falling asleep and dreaming and the wish that one day i'll be what i was a long time ago or just a version of my better self. Girlzrbad@hotmail.com Christopher
My Thoughts:
Dear Christopher,
I pray that happier days find you soon. Perhaps prayer or some inspirational books would be of
help to you at this time.
May God Bless You, Your Friend
My Thoughts:
At night after I tuck my 3 year old twin daughters in bed and they fall asleep, there are times when I go in there room to watch them. I think they are the most beautiful children in the world and I thank God for the precious gift he has given me. It helps to take away all of the days troubles. Tammy Chitty
My Thoughts:
Every day life presents opportunities for growth. We can choose a new path, or take a different road; or go off our own trail. Life offers unlimited chances for us. Our lives mirror what our thoughts create, we need to dwell in
possibilties.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. 2 Thessalonians:16
Sharone
My Thoughts:
My thoughts today are sad. My father is ill, my brother's mother is ill, my partner's parents are ill.... I feel small and alone. Being a grown-up, taking responsibility, being the strong one is hard. I want to cry, but at the same time I seem unable to let go and weep. The wheel is turning and I want to jump off for awhile.
Michelle
My Thoughts:
The day is windy and winsome - perhaps a haircut awaits - or a lobotomy -
My Thoughts:
I had given up....let go. In doing so, I opened the door. Inner self was waiting, building my life for acceptance. Little over 3 months ago, this started to emerge. From despair to joy. From hate to love. From judgement to forgiveness. From fear to acceptance.
I look eagerly for what awaits, I listen and love ..... Keeping my face to the light.
Thank you for the opportunity to share.
Laurie
My Thoughts:
Pray for our country today, that the right man be elected to lead us into the next century.
My Thoughts:
I will share the thought that this is a wonderful website and i thank the creators,editors,writers etc. who were involved. I have shared this site with some friends who are in need of a spiritual uplift. I think that in these times we are so wrapped up in everyday issues and other folks problems that we tend to forget about ourselves! So this is such a blessing to have something so positive and i just want to let you know it is appreciated! Thanks for letting me share. Angie, CA
My Thoughts:
This is a day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Feel the sun on your face... Dd not be in a hurry. Did you know where you are going too? I do not mean work, school or home. Why are we here? Just too hang out or
perhaps there is a deeper meaning. Every step we take bring us closer towards a journey. A journey that has a beginning, and a end. There is a big picture, that I cannot fathom. We all have a part in that picture. These are some of my thoughts for today. I have faith in the Creator who knows the master plan.
Sharone
My Thoughts:
My thought today is how short life is and how easy it is to be swayed off the path when you're not paying attention. I am having a lot of intense realizations that I am letting life pass me by. I feel sad because I know better and should do better. My spiritual life ought to come before everything but I let is slide into the background. I've always tended to let people who don't have as much spiritual awareness as I do push me around, waste my time, manipulate my feelings, take my joy, etc. Mostly it's my family. I can't seem to let them go even though I know I must. God please help me. Time is so short. I have to get on with my life now.
My Thoughts:
Life is hard when you can see a big piece of the big picture. Seeing where others are going (when they are going in the wrong direction) is very frustrating. Please God give me the wisdom and strenght and creativity to help them.
My Thoughts:
Finding your own personal mission statement-or running from monsters- There are alot of things in our world and thoughts which function as "monsters". There was a monster at one government job I worked call
R.I.F.F. (Reduction in Federal Forces) There is another kind of monster in my life right now that I cannot not label but the feeling of fear that monster's inspire is leering at me. \ But you know-some monsters just disappear when the lights are turned on-I think that just by taking the time to pause here and write-I just turned on a light. Feels better not running from monsters!
Hope somebody else out there finds a way to turn on a light and make it through another dark and monsterlike moment. Geneva
My Thoughts:
I am very happy to have found this website-On for the first time ever. I am always looking for new and creative ways to
express myself and look inward. I had a good day today-productivity is so important to me at this stage. I own my business and I need new ways in which I can express myself in a
non-judgemental environment-THIS IS IT!! :)
My Thoughts:
When one gets ill with a supposedly terminal illness like cancer doctors should not take one's hope away. Prayer and hope in the miracles that Jesus performs even today helps the victim to live in a more possitive way.
My Thoughts:
Hi everyone...I feel so alone sometimes even though I am surrounded by so many wonderful and loving people. Every day I feel compassion for all those around me, and I make a genuine effort to see the good in everyone. I know so much how beautiful and precious this life is, I'm just going through a challenging period in my life...I need to be strong, but most of all I must believe in myself. Why am I having such a hard time believing in myself? I've devoted so much energy to my spiritual and personal growth, and I love myself for that, and I love who I am. Its just that I lately I don't feel a part of this world...and it creates confusion within myself. I'm continuously thinking about how beautiful life can be, and I wonder why everyone in the world can't see it that way...but at the same time, there is so much about the "real world" that I must learn to accept and integrate myself into. I never want to lose who I am...How can I find a balance between my spiritual self and the hectic world around me?
My Thoughts:
I started a new job four months ago. The pay is the best I have ever received. I want so much to last here. But lately I've been a nervous wreck. I'm afraid my nerves are getting in the way of my job. I have always been uncomfortable around people, and it takes me a very long time to warm up to them. I'm seeing a therapist to help me with my problem, but it takes time. I pray that I don't lose my job because of my fears. I wish I could make these feelings go away, I want so much for people to understand me. Everyday I wonder what they are thinking about me. Today I stated taking medication for my anxiety, I hope it's not too late. How I would love to tell my co-workers of my problem, if I knew they would understand and not judge me because of it. I want to tell them all to give me some time. Please give me a chance. That's all I ask. If I am given the chance I can do it. God, hear my prayers.
My Thoughts:
hard work is taking the difficult option from the three available .yes, every problem comes with three options as solutions .no promlem is insurmountable it just requires hard work for a solution!!!!! rohit
My Thoughts:
To the "Nervous Wreck" Journalist, I feel your pain. You must believe in yourself and learn to put your feelings before your coworkers. We all have insecurities in life. It doesn't matter what your coworkers think of you. What matters most is what you think of you. Smile. Tell yourself you're great! Because you are! And do your job with pride for the special soul you are and for the special gifts you bring into this world! You are a gift from God. Remember that!
My Thoughts:
Just be your best, and let the Universe do the rest!
My Thoughts:
My fiancee and I perform weddings in "Paradise." At least that's what we call the gorgeous Emerald Coast of Florida. We conduct ceremonies in Panama City Beach, FL (or home base) or travel anywhere on the coast from New Orleans to Charleston to ? Thus, the name of our website
www.coastalwed.com. Your website is breathtaking. It seems a perfect venue for services such as ours. I don't really know where I'm going with this, except that I believe there is a mutual inspiration to share. Your thoughts and comments are most welcome! Best regards, Bobbie Wilson
My Thoughts:
Kathleen, I am so grateful to have found this site. The support center that I volunteer for (New Hope Healing Institute found at
nhhi.net) is putting together a writing group for survivors of childhood abuse and look forward to exploring some of your writings in preparation. Finding materials specifically geared for what we need has been difficult. Thanks, Kim
My Thoughts:
"Two Questions, Two Answers
Q. How long do we have? A. As long as it takes
Q. How much do we get? A. As much as we need." Richard Stine
My Thoughts:
Whatever journey we may be on...all that happens is for the good and growth of our soul. All who we encounter teach us more about about ourselves. Be not sad of endings as they open but one more door to your soul. Walk in and experience
the wisdom waiting there. And always listen, listen to the voice of your soul which will always provide insight for your next adventure. In light and love, continue living, for those who have gone before.
My Thoughts:
We must Be the Change we wish to See
My Thoughts:
Today I feel strange - I enjoy being around him and he treats me so good but I feel that we are not right for each other at some times and at other times we are the only 2 people in the world that matter. He is not what my parents would pick for me but he is certainly special - do I really love him or the idea of being with him - isn't that love?
My Thoughts:
I knew what I wanted but chose to do what I though was right but it wasn't and now I stand alone. I wish I could go back and fix what I have done but I know i'm now only left with this feeling of pain which I can't explain.] Diana
My Thoughts:
People say not to ask others what to do because only you should know but I don't realize that I have even half the options I have entil someone else tells them to me. I have made many discoveries this way. ~D~
My Thoughts:
These are my thoughts about life. Life is full of jubiliation and enjoyable when you think about some one who is close to you by heart and if that person is not with you then it becomes a tragedy.The situations get even worse when that person
for no reason , just to give relief to his/her self does not give you proper response. and the things go on in that selfish and greedy way.
My Thoughts:
NEED HELP IN KNOWIN HOW TO JOURNAL ___________________________________
Do you get stuck on what to write well you can go to my Diary club Just go to yahoo Click the " Clubs" logo and find the jouranls and Diaries The title of my club is DiariestPages I have alot of info that may help those that are experts and those that are just beginning We all can learn something. Sign Diariest
My Thoughts:
Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do to be were you want to be.
kinky rudy
My Thoughts:
chantal
My Thoughts:
I buried my brother 11/22/00. He was only 48 and died suddenly from a blood clot. The holidays will never be the same. Since he lived in another city, we only saw him on holidays and his laughter and smile made our time together so special. He was loved by so many and touched many lives. He will be missed but remembered with fond memories. He left behind a healthy 78yr. old mom, me at 53 and two other sisters at 40 and 39. He did not have any children. His wife will be lost without him. Every room in their home tells you he was there. This is a sad time for us all. I will look at life in a new way. Joan
jlowder1@bellsouth.net
My Thoughts:
everything happens for a reason.
My Thoughts:
Dear Joan, My heart goes out to you and your family. May God bless you.
My Thoughts:
For those who are confused or frightened, busy or torn, or simply lost or unsure in the complexities of daily life, always remember...
"And still I tell you, one must have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star." -Friedrich Nietzch
My Thoughts:
This is a quote of a gem I read recently:
"You don't have to win the lottery to pursue your dreams. You need to start walking in that direction and let
circumstances, the environment and the universe support you. Then let it come." Maizie
My Thoughts:
Nov 26,2000 Today i am going through some trying times.Ive been seperated from my children for almost a year now, and
the pain is getting great almost unbearable.Ive been asking their father for visits only to get, denied every time.So today at church there was a little boy and girl attending service and the children favored my children soo much that it brought tears to my soul not just my eyes.And with this pain in my heart my cries to the lord are more louder, desparate and meaningful because I know in my heart im not just going through to teach me a lesson.I know that my god has brought me closer to him for a reason but it still hurts,even as i write this page tears threaten to run down my face.So i know i have to
be strong and hold on and Wait on the lord.One more thing i wanted to add is ,im very
thank-ful i found this page since im at work with no one to talk to even though i wouldnt share this with anybody anyway,so this page has been a comforter to me tonite and pray that anyone else who may a comforter finds this page also. *And remeber gods loves you even when you dont love
yourself*Africa.H
My Thoughts:
I could NEVER leave my child to be cared for by someone else. If at all humanly possible, I will do anything for my child. The child came from my womb, so how could I give my child away even if I were ill. I would find a way.
My Thoughts:
There is nothing like that first cup of hot coffee in the morning and today I am thankful for it. simple pleasures
My Thoughts:
With finals approaching/unprepared, working 2 jobs (1 full time/1 part time) and haven't had a day off in 3 months, not even a weekend. Why do I do this too myself. And, the inner voice told me 2 weeks ago to at least quit the part timer or wierd things would start to happen. 3 days later while driving on a service road, I went to sleep for about 5 seconds and ended up in the lane of incoming traffic/but that voice, that inward voice kept me on the planet a little longer. All praises due to God. And I listening now without having another brick thrown to get my attention Judie Graham-Davis
My Thoughts:
I am grateful for this beautiful site to come and share with all of you. I am
new here & just exploring around. Have journaled for many years and plan to
continue for many more. Indeed, journaling is a sacred art form to be performed
in your own sacred space. I believe I must be between journaling by hand and by
computer LOL! Lately, I am finding so many, many beautiful sites in which to
journal by computer that it is becoming very tempting! Love & Blessings,
Sherry
My Thoughts:
I have been becoming more and more aware that it is time to examine the role
that material objects have in my life. It seems that the energy I used to use
for creative purposes is now being used to focus on material objects and how to
obtain them.
My Thoughts:
Love is being spread so magically. It feels great to be love itself, walking and breathing and living in that love and radiating it out to all who graces our path. Beautiful warm loving site you have here. Keep shining dear
hearts.
With Lovelight and Warm Hugs, Sandy Lee Jones
sandy@human-spirit.com.au
My Thoughts:
I am in web which I have built inside my soul for 38 years. I am having difficulty cutting through it to let the little girl in me be free.
Where do I begin....
My Thoughts:
I'm 47, never been married, no kids, I've loved many, but no one wants loves me back. What is the point of being here? I've lost interest in going on. Good bye..............
My Thoughts:
I am most grateful to have found this journaling site for my online thoughts of the day. Presently, I am a "lap" journaler with my favorite pens, books & paper! I enjoy my computer, too, & this just may be the site I am looking for!
My Thoughts:
"Face your fear, and it will disappear."
I am not there yet, but this is my goal. Thank you for this site - a seeming oasis for kindred spirits.
StephanieinSF@aol.com
My Thoughts:
Visiting loved ones in the hospital is so, so difficult.
My Thoughts:
Today I finally feel like there is a reason im alive so now i am willing to live life with purpose and meaning and to be grateful for what i do have and what i dont i can have faith that i will recieve it.Africa
My Thoughts:
Such a beautiful "space" to come & share. Most special.
Love & Blessings, Sherry
My Thoughts:
*My Thought For Today* Live today as if it were your last. Love someone as if they were your first. Hold on to love as if your life dedpened on it. Pray harder to God today then you did yesterday. Be grateful today for what you do have,and what you need have faith and believe that you will recieve. May God bless and keep you.Africa
My Thoughts:
Today I feel empty; gray and empty. Really, I think my self has left my body; gone to a place where there it can do impoptant things, like smile, laugh, fly kites.
My Thoughts:
Icomplain that people do not laugh. When i look back i see my name in the no-laughers list! I realized that and from that day i make sure i am passing 5 smiles to strangers. Believe me it helps.
G vishwanath viswag@niit.com
My Thoughts:
Today I do not feel like myself... A certain unhappy, tired and gray feeling ha taken over my body. I pray that tomorrow I may feel like myself again.
My Thoughts:
I wish I wasn't so afraid. Everything scares me. Everybody frightens me. I feel as if they are laughting at me. I want so
much to be liked and respected. Sometimes I feel that it doesn't pay to be too good. This world isn't very kind to those of us who are too good, too shy or too quiet. I wish I could be more outspoken. But most of all, I wish people would like me for just me.
My Thoughts:
Wow, this is really special. This page just came to me from my eTour site. I have been messmerized by all the wonderful
reading and sharing I have 'witnessed'. A very special touch. Today has been filled with fun for me. Very cold, very sunny, my heart full. Doing my pleasant paper route job, visiting my husband at his work, talking to my daughter on the phone, teasing my son about eating all my good snacks. Checking out his brother's new addition to their room, surround sound for their movies. Yes! And then just before I go to bed, to be soothed to peacefulness by this website. Wow again. I believe in a Higher Power when I am touched like this. Maree at
createlaughter@netscape.net
My Thoughts:
We r all searching for inner happiness.And life is made up of little salty & spicy little incidences and that brings with a lot
more words of cheer. Today I feel we are living our lives with a deepest desire to be loved by all.And in that true search of happiness we are being chasing ourselves behing earthly stuffs.We do our duty ,no more as our responsibility.But in the pursuit of new search for happiness.The mothernatures wonders are the true gifts for human beings.We are one & our society is where you have to put your 1% effort for its resurction in a new tone.Life is a school and each human life are its different class rooms.This is the fruit of a lifetime .And you must live through your thoughts and then follow through... ABYSKARIA S/O P.K.SKARIA PLAPPILLIL HOUSE 38/2497
KALOOR.P .O COCHIN-682017 KERALA INDIA PH:0091484323898
ABYSWORLD@YAHOO.COM
My Thoughts:
I believe in magic. I believe in dreams. I believe that only I can hurt me. I believe that this life is a path which I must travel. I believe that sometimes I am the teacher and sometimes I am the student. I believe that when I realize how far I've come, I also realize how very far I have to go. I believe there are no bad souls although there are bad people. I believe that someday I will again look into the eyes of the woman seen only in a dream and we can walk the path together. I believe that love and knowledge are all I really have to give. I believe that my next life will be more difficult than this one, though sometimes that seems impossible. I believe that you all have beautiful souls and I am happy to be living at the same time as you.
visciousbastard@hotmail.com
My Thoughts:
Need to get the juices flowing as far as my Personal Journal at home.I have been writing for 25 years and I feel I write the same things over again
My Thoughts:
Today I reflected that even after being angry with a boss for some time, I am pleased I can recognise his good points. I am pleased that I can appreciate the good with the bad. A few years ago this would not have been possible for me. I would have been a prisoner of my thoughts but today I felt a new kind of freedom. Please let it carry over until
tomorrow.
My Thoughts:
I feel I am at a turning point. The world I knew as a young girl is drifting away. The new world is still yet to be formed. My parents are older. My sisters are married, my brother lives away. I too am married but I do not have any children. I have a connection to work that is like a frayed thread, I am hanging in there but I do not know why - probably money. My friendships are changing. The me who I once protrayed is no longer the me I am. My relationships mirror back to
me someone I am not always sure that I like. An Astrologer says its because Pluto is opposing Mars. Me - I am not sure. I am searching for answers but I know if I just sit still, meditate and listen, they are in there waiting to find the way to my awareness.
My Thoughts:
Living 0r Working god --------------------- (*)Love , grace of God... (*)Messenger of love,peace... (*)love,happiness of lifetime... -->Oldest of living or creation (*)Temple of wisdom (*)God of church
1.word of cheer 2.man of actions 3.web of life or www 4.whisper of dreams 5.faith of believer 6.teacher of life 7.guide of all 8.gallery of perspiration 9.voice of everybody 10.nature of wonders 11.peace of mind 12.gratness in all 13.calls upon you
BY ABY SKARIA S/0 P.K.SKARIA 38/2497 KALOOR.P.O COCHIN-682017 KERALA INDIA ph:0091-484-323898 email:
LOVETHEGODINLOVE@YAHOO.COM
My Thoughts:
Once there was a girl who lived on the edge of a deep, deep, Love. She had beautiful golden hair, but her feet were dirty from walking in the mud and her hands were dirty from the job that she had, so her face was always dirty too.
One day she decided to take a walk in the deep, deep, Love, even though her mother and all her friends had told her “not to bother;” or there was “no point,” and even tried to convince her that the deep, deep, Love “didn’t really exist”!
She hadn’t gone very far, when she came upon a House with many Rooms. A little frightened, she entered through the Open Door and looked around.
The first thing she saw was a table with Bread and Wine on it. Feeling Hungry and realizing just how Thirsty she had become, she broke off some of the Bread and ate it. She then drank some of the Wine and was surprised to find that, no matter how much she drank, the glass was always full!
Goldilocks walked a bit further and found a table full of Fruit. Some of the Fruit was very exotic and she had never seen it before. Some she recognized but had never tried, so decided to sample some of these and then move on.
Next she came to a table laden with every kind of food and drink she could possibly imagine. She rushed up to a big chair that was at the head of it, sat down, and started trying things eagerly. But after all she had already eaten, she was feeling rather sleepy so, curling up on the big seat, she fell into a Peaceful sleep.
Not long after, the Owner of the House returned. Seeing the Broken Bread, the Son said, in his normal voice, “Who’s been eating from MY table?”. Seeing a little pile of fruit pieces, the Spirit said in his still, small voice, “Who’s been eating from MY table?”. Then, in His big, big voice, the Father said “WHO’S BEEN EATING AT MY TABLE?” and sent the spirit rushing to look.
At the sound like thunder and a rushing wind, Goldilocks woke up and was very frightened. When she saw the Owner, she began to cry with shame and guilt.
“Don’t be afraid,” said the Son, stooping down and washing her feet. (She knew she would never walk in the mud again.)
“ Don’t be afraid,” said the Spirit, taking her hands and making them clean. (She knew they would find other work now.)
“Don’t be afraid,” said the Father, wiping the tears from her eyes and making her face shine like the sun. (She knew she would never be the same again.)
Goldilocks wasn’t afraid any more, but ran back to tell her mother, and all her friends, of everything she had found at the Heart of the deep, deep, Love.
Mike.Sweetlove@ntlworld.com
My Thoughts:
soulful listening- I usually sit at the computer and do my daily things in a specific order. Today I heard from my spirit--do it this way. I was dooing my daily clickings on The Hungersite etc. usually never really seeing the sites that are donating. But something or someone who knew I needed encouragement made to see soullfuliving.com Thank you spirit. I needed this today.
My Thoughts:
This is a great site. It really helps everyone that goes on it to get entact with their spiritual side. So I really like this site. It just really opens me up.
My Thoughts:
I often find myself thinking of what could've been, what should've been and what use to be. I look in every direction for who I am and who I want to be, but I don't see me. I avoid looking to the future because I'm scared of standing there looking back on what is still yet to come and regretting that I haven't yet accomplished what I thought should be. I don't know how I need to get to where I think I need to go and I don't really know who I need to be once I get there. So every day, I wake to face the bitter chill of the day, the sky a solemn gray, the wind cold and piercing against my warm exposed skin, bringing water to my eyes. All the while forgetting what I am about, wrapped up in the hustle and bustle
of the corporate world. This is not me I scream soundlessly. I undress and climb deep within the cover of my bed, have I forgotten the only important thing in this world, the only thing that will truly bring me joy. The place I long to be is in
the vale of happiness, where content with the things I have is good enough, and the longing for things I yet to have is merely a fleeting muse. That shall be my goal, that shall be where I go, that shall be who I am to become, for I Anna K. deserve that, long for that and will find serenity in that-HAPPINESS, has anybody else forgotten?
Anna K. Atlanta, GA
My Thoughts:
About a month ago I made the difficult decision to kill myself. I didn't want to, but there seemed to be no other option available. I am a passionate person, passionate about life and about others, but I am unable to find that same amount of passion for myself. I am filled with so much self-hatred that I can scarcely tolerate residing within my own body.
I knew my husband would be away until late evening, so I went to one store and purchased a bottle of sleeping pills. Then, I went to another store and purchased alcohol. I went home, looked around my house and within myself. I felt an emptiness that was so profound I thought my heart might break. I took the bottle of sleeping pills and I started drinking. I didn't stop until I could no longer resist the urge to close my eyes...
The rest of the evening is a mystery. I have wisps of memories that exist only through a heavy fog. I remember waking up and being unable to move my limbs. I remember being very scared. I remember hearing two voices whispering to each other, almost inaudibly. All I was able to make out was ... "There she is." I remember trying hard to stay awake out of pure fear. I remember my husband coming home. I remember trying to talk to him but being unable to clearly articulate anything. I remember the hospital, being hooked up to an IV, being catheterized, being made to drink something as black and thick as tar. I remember straining to overhear bits and pieces of hushed conversations between my husband and the doctor. I remember sleeping... After a couple days of
medical monitoring, I stayed on the psychiatric ward for a four-day "suicide watch."
Nothing like this has ever happened to me. I have always walked the "straight and narrow." I have always done what was expected of me and have strived toward one achievement after another: First, running away from home and joining the military at age 17. Then, working and paying my way through my Associate's degree, my Bachelor's degree, my Master's degree -- and finally beginning my Ph.D. But, I found that the faster I danced and the more I worked to 'attain,' the more my self-hatred demanded acknowledgement, refusing to be ignored, until I finally gave into it.
I am grateful that my husband found me and was able to give me a second chance to heal my self-inflicted wounds. But, I don't know where to begin. I found this web-site, filled with so many beautiful images and thoughts shared by others, and I thought perhaps I might begin my journey here. -- Signed, Soulbroken
My Thoughts:
I pray every day that I may touch a life and lead them in the path to Him who strengthens all of us.
My Thoughts:
I am grateful that I work in a loving, peaceful environment. I thank God for my enlightened co-workers, knowing I came in this place needy for their company. Michael, Franklin and Roxie, you bless me with friendship, acceptance and support every day. Let me show you continuously how much it means to me. Debra
My Thoughts:
PEACE AND LIGHT AND JOY TO ALL BREATHE BREATHE
My Thoughts:
The longer I live, the more I realize that the challenges I face each day are there to help me grow and move me further along the path to enlightenment. Chanting Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo has helped to guide me in this journey. I am so grateful to have encountered this wonderful Buddhist practice.
My Thoughts:
**************************************************** Here is something I wrote a few years back. It seams to fit here. This is a great website, and for a great cause.
To Steal Passion
Circle him, memorize him, Glimpse his face upon every head, Listen for the slightest mumble of his voice, Hear luring whispers crowd your mind; Approach a cliff... Dive into the thick enveloping atmosphere, Pray for a harmless landing, Smell a billion roses bloom at once, Roll in them, kill them, bleed to death.
--Kristol Unterseher ****************************************************
My Thoughts:
Love isn't just about being with the person during just good times. Love is through thick and thin, dark and light. I almost considered leaving him because his work is taking up so much time. Yet, I know.. even at work he is thinking of me, just as much as I think about him. And had things been the other way around he would wait the world for me!
My Thoughts:
Live life as if it's your last day! Rejoice in the feeling of just "being" here. Stop to cherish the words of a child, or throw a toy for a pup! Remember the reason for the season of Christmas. "Make of yourself a light" (Buddha)
your friend in Christ, Gayle
My Thoughts:
...blank space, blanket of snow...cold, insulating the feelings that burn my heart...a soul torn in half, once danced in the moonlight in the waves of time...now it cries, I cry from my soul, for the moon on the water, for my friend,....I miss my friend and the tears do not stop,,,adding to the frozen bars of ice that encase my heart this Solstice night,,,,I pray for spring, for rebirth, for
forgivness......
My Thoughts:
I have always thought that self-knowledge was one of the keys to soulful living. I think this passage by Kahlil Gilbran (1923) is especially salient: "Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights. But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge. You would know in words that which you have always known in thought. You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams...And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes...For self is a sea boundless and measureless." -- Soulbroken
My Thoughts:
It truly is food for our souls reading the features each month. I do hope these will continue as they are so needed in our world today for our spiritual growth. Christmas Blessings, Sherry
My Thoughts:
hey whoever im writing to i dont really no wat to ritebut i really wanted to find sum kool poetry
My Thoughts:
So this is Christmas....my second away from family and friends, my second at home with my hubby and daughter. I look into their eyes and I know I was given a wonderful gift that many are longing for. I send the love that I feel out into the universe and ask the Divine to erase the loneliness that many people are feeling on this day. ~Dionne
My Thoughts:
Don't keep loneliness to yourself!
My Thoughts:
At this time of year i tend to look back over the year and take stock in my life... i find myself feeling like i have wasted so much of the precious gift of life... wasted it alone watching tv... working... i feel like i have failed at the things that mean most... i am single... no prospects... no children. And i sit inside and hide away from life... my professional life is successful... degrees... good job... but my personal life is unfulfilled... and my spiritual life is too... somehow i know these are related... but i seem paralyzed by fear... fear of living...and at the same time i mourn the passing time. That is my 'resolution' for the new year... taking baby steps toward enriching my spiritual and personal lives... brick by brick working on taking down the wall i've erected around myself. Not to waste the precious, precious gift of life...to find the joy in the blessings i have, and not to focus on the things i do not have.
My Thoughts:
"Your brain is much better than you think." Quote taken from the book "How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci". An excellent book with accompanying workbook/journal. I recommend it.
Marilynn Karbonski, Carlton, Oregon
My Thoughts:
Better to use darkness then to curse it. Ask; How can I utilize this? What is the gift in this? What could be great in this?
My Thoughts:
This is the year for everyone to have fun. It's 2001 !!!! "You only live once-but if you work it right, once is enough." Joe E. Lewis
My Thoughts:
Our thoughts DO make a difference. If we can touch just one empty soul with a shaking of hope...everything else for that day is gravy.
R.A. Posner Tokyo, Japan
My Thoughts:
Ask me about Joy and I'll tell you stories hours long> Ask me about Dreams and I'll paint you pictures to fill galleries> Ask me about pain and I'll write you pages to fill books> Ask me about Love and I'll tell you about Joy, Dreams, and Pain.......Logan.....
theseeker@tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
"When I was a child....A small bird died in my hand...My mother said I had held it too tightly.....I guess it was because I loved it too much....Often with you, I feel like that child again...and I'm afraid."
Logan....theseeker@tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
"A candle glows> but lights not the distance> To the corners darkness our candle cannot go> We hold the breath> That will destroy the life> That by itself is slowly dying> The beauty of each flicker> The journey of each flame...must end> Infinity lasts not in the glow of our candle."
Logan.....theseeker@tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
Take time to share a moment to yourself, relax in the inner peace of your thoughts, and then share your life with other by serving and making others feel better about themselves.
My Thoughts:
I am in love with a man who will probably never love me again. I wish love could be buried as easy as we bury humans once they leave us. My life now is full of hurt tears pain and suffering. Why? That is all I want to know. Its all over the fact that she has money and materialistic things and all I had for you was love that will never end. I cant seem to put two and two together to figure out what went wrong. You are my every waking thought. I would die and live this hell filled life all over again just to relive the moments we shared. I love you so much. I know you will Never ever read this but it is ok. I remember everything as if it yesterday. I havent forgot anything you ever said to me or the way I felt when I first seen you. I cant express the way I burn to just hear your voice in my little ear.I need you I feel as if I dont want to go on any longer without you. I wonder if you are happy if you are being taken care of like I took care of you back then. I wonder if you make her laugh the way you made me. I miss you in every aspect. I sit here and cry after 8 months of agonizing lonelyness thinking maybe one strange day you will call me up like before and say those exact words again, " I didn't realize I broke your heart" I pray that we will be together again and God will heal my broken heart! Tina
My Thoughts:
Remember: Some lessons must be learned in the calm, and some in the storm.
My Thoughts:
In moments of silence I learn so much. It is in these moments that I realize how blessed I am just to be.
My Thoughts:
In life we rarely are conscious of those we meet within our journey that have been placed in our paths as teachers. When we do let us bow graciously to them and praise God for the opportunity.
My Thoughts:
The way each day will look to you all starts with who you're looking to.
My Thoughts:
In the year 2001 I will set my priorities as they were always intended to be. God, Family, Career. As a single parent with no help from their father for most of my now grown childrens' lives my job came first. I thought I was doing the "right" thing to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. But I know now that what I taught them was work came before anything else and that makes me sad. In 2001 I, with the help of God, will reteach myself and my children about priorities. God, Family, Job, because with God as my first priority all others will follow in the direction it is meant to be. I will be successful in my career because I will put God in control of my life and I know He will guide me in the right direction
My Thoughts:
There are times when the oppressing of time and place will undergo and you'll feel as lost as a child but don't ever consider the possibility of growning old in a dimension that only reads your actions.
My Thoughts:
Inpossibilities vanish when a person and there God confront a mountain
Matthew 19:26
My Thoughts:
Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, the older that I get. Therefore, I vow to take all that life offers me in the way of opportunities, & to grow more as a knowledgeable person. Don't let life slow you down - explore!! Cathy McIvor
My Thoughts:
"If there is a universal truth, then there must be universal laws...infinite laws of life, far beyond the laws of a nation. When the infinite laws are broken, your soul must serve time... a ' sentence ' handed down by you. The hell that goes on inside a tormented soul, who has violated the natural laws of the universe, is more horrific than any penance God would ever put forth on one of his children. You make your own hell on earth."
Amanda.......www.tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
"If people could just remember that religion was created by man, not God. Many times, organized religion is more about raising funds than raising spiritual awareness." Amanda......Last Night An Angel Stopped By.....
My Thoughts:
"Hold dearly to your dreams...For within their reality lies mans greatest hope." Tearabar
"If only the sands beneath my feet, could have lasted longer than the moment I stood." Tearabar
My Thoughts:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the
diffrence."
Arley Ballenger
My Thoughts:
For those of you waiting for your Prince Charming.....yes he IS out there....you will get to him eventually. Maybe it's time to change thoughts from "I'm going to go FIND the right person" to "I'm going to go BE the right person"........ I am pregnant! After over 2 years of trying to conceive, my husband and I are expecting our third baby. This is the greatest proof of God's existence ever! I am happy.
My Thoughts:
We too often love things and use people, when we should be using things and loving people
Chao
My Thoughts:
Always remember that love is one of the greatest gifts that mankind can share and that it should never be taken advantage of. For when you take advantage of love you are only betraying yourself.
My Thoughts:
I sit here "alone" and wonder where you are tonight. Looking outside, the sky fades from dark blue to black. The veiw is like an icescape from some alien planet....strangly reflective of how I feel inside. I've been searching for you for so long. I don't think I need you but I want you more than I would have thought possible a few short years ago. If I could just look into those eyes again, I could live a lifetime in a moment. I shall go on searching and waiting. I would wait a thousand lifetimes for you...I love you visciousbastard@hotmail.com
My Thoughts:
The spiritul life is a reaching out to our innermost self,to our fellow human beings and to our God.
Henri J.M. Nouwen
Chao
My Thoughts:
There have been times when I have been very busy. I have prayed for things to slow down. Now that things aren't that busy, I want nothing more than to be busy. Time seems to stand still when I have nothing to do. It goes by quickly when there's is much to be done. At home there is plenty that I can take care of, but after a day of working outside I am not up to doing anything at home. I get some dinner, watch some tv, maybe go on the computer and than go to bed. I would like to do something else with my life. But what? I love to write. But lately I can't think of a single thing to write about. So here I am writing about boredom. I have five and a half hours to go before I get out of work. Well, I guess I should look at the bright side, at least I'm getting paid. But I sure would love to be doing something more productive. One day I will be overwhelmed with work, and I will pray once again, for nothing to do. Maybe I'll read some of the other entries, they are probably more interesting than this one.
My Thoughts:
I ENJOYED MY LIFE, ESPECIALLY THE TIMES I HAVE READ A GOOD SCRIPTURE AND SOOTHE MY FEELINGS INTO THE SCRIPTURE. ALSO OF HAPPY TIMES WHEN I HAVE MEMORIES OF MY MOTHER, WHO PASSED ON 3 1/2 YRS AGO. SOMETIMES ITS HARD, BUT I THINK OF THE LOVE AND INSPIRATION THAT SHE GAVE TO HER ENTIRE FAMILY. PAT
My Thoughts:
I believe in the laughter. I believe in the love. I believe in the shared spirit. I believe in this our dream of joy.
My Thoughts:
All you need is deep within you waiting to unfold and reveal itself. All you have to do is be still and take time to seek for what is within, and you will surely find it
Eileen Caddy
Chao
My Thoughts:
About unhealty food.
Did you know toxid foods creats toxid thoughts? Do you know God created us to be breatherians? Do you know all foods and drinks are a deadly poison for the human mind and body? Did you know that God is now instructing thousands of people to be breatherians. God want our body to be 100% clean inside and our thoughts must be 100% pure loving and our actions 100% pure loving. Our birthright is endless happiness, inmortality, love and joy. Living on earth is ment to be a paradise. We are nothing more than shadows of our true self. I want to cry when I think what we have done to ourselfs. We are all very, very holy, yes we are gods in flesh and blood and should treat ourself us gods. We forgot for a long time to think for our- selves . We are indocrinatet from birth with so mutch crap about being an human.The human is not an animal, she is a holy spirit, only a holy spirit. By the way my name is Kerstin and I have had a very intense spiritual awakning since for years ago and I want to tell you about it.
My Thoughts:
"He drew a circle that shut me out.....Oh what a tremendous thing to flout....But wit and I had the will to win....We drew a circle that took him in."
"If God created anything better than the woman.......He surely kept it for Himself."
Logan...tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
lucy
My Thoughts:
I have just discovered this site. It is wonderful and it allows people to do something that is much needed by all of us; the opportunity to voice our thoughts, especially the thoughts that we have been conditioned not to voice because they may indicate our weaknesses. Which, is a no no in our society. I will be back to join in. Peace and love to you all.
My Thoughts:
Life is to short, you should be thankful everyday for what you have, And make everyday worth living, because the most important thing in life is to be happy and to love
My Thoughts:
In the recent past substance abuse played a big part of me life that im now changing for the better than to a support group and god. I know what I suppose to be doing in life do you?
My Thoughts:
everything is up, then down...life is full of contradictions...nothing remains the same...everything is forever changing...
My Thoughts:
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and covenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy
Proverbs 24:10
Chao
My Thoughts:
Speaking about tomorrow, if it is the Lord's will, we will live to do this or
that. James 4:15 Then when we plan,we should plan according to the Lord's will for our lives.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. My prayer for all of you.
God's grace be with you all.
Sharone
My Thoughts:
The saddest kind of lonely, is when you feel alone in the presence of your mate...invisible...as though he is looking past you, and not at you...as though you are talking to yourself, and not with another...as though he is making love to just any old vagina, and not to you.
~~~K
My Thoughts:
TO:~~~K
You are not alone. There are many of us in the same situation, but this too shall pass.
My Thoughts:
It's funny how everyone in my life thinks that everything is great. My heart has been torn in a million pieces by him, and I am simply wearing the jolly minstrel's mask.
My Thoughts:
I have been feeling so so sad lately. The tears run down my face and I cannot make them stop.
My Thoughts:
"Many times I have loved......
For the moment-
and for tomorrow.
Through it all I have learned
that only the moment-
is for certain..."
Logan Clarke......www.tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
Seems like you can't always get what you want,
You're bound to have heartbreak some days.
You can always smile, but you will still have a tear...
Right in your heart....A piece of your soul always seems to depart...
So therefore, look at the moonlight,
And be glad you're alive.
~smileygirl.
My Thoughts:
An intimate relationship must be a wonderful thing. Perhaps someday, somewhere, someone will truly love me. After all these years, the only thing I can say about my relationships with women that I have had feelings towards is "LOVE STINKS"
Joe
My Thoughts:
The world will never end,
No matter how much you want it to...
The world will go on....
So believe in your heart-
And you will succeed.
~smileygirl1702
My Thoughts:
I used to be depressed by my depression. Now that I understand that is normal as a "transition of emotions" and why this is so, I am fascinated by how we live it and how we change it. I appreciate more and more the insights friends and others have shared with me throughout my life. Knowledge of what the dual soul and spirit are has changed my life because it has helped me understand the foundation of my thoughts and emotions -- for a lifelong thinker and searcher, that is food for the soul. This is a great website - thanks to everyone for their creations and contributions to our ... change. Margaret
My Thoughts:
I am happy that others who have the courage to journal online all seem to sound so peaceful. As for myself, I feel anything but calm and thoughtful at the moment!
I finally have the chance to meet my birthfather. So much of me wants my chance to see for myself the man who fathered me. Not because I think he will be a great father figure or fill a void in my heart. I am conpletely aware he chose not to be a parent, and that's ok. I just want to see if we look alike, have the same sense of humor, or have anything at all in common. Nope, I don't need a father.
Here's my chance to meet this mystery man.
But they tell me he's dangerous, maybe even a wanted fugitive. I have a family to protect, not to mention myself.
SO what do I do? I don't want to judge, or lose a chance I've waited for all these years. But I can't harm my family, either.
What to do? I shall pray and wait.
taydev@hotmail.com
My Thoughts:
Do you feel like you are hanging from a thread?
TRY JESUS.
FRIEND
My Thoughts:
I feel as though I scrubbed out most of the dirt and cobwebs that were making my heart a depressing place to be. Now that I have wiped the slate clean, it's time for me to enjoy my hard work!
My Thoughts:
Dear Ana Maria,
I too feel as if I were born in the wrong century. I to long for my knight in shining armour. Perhaps one day our knights will find us. But in the meantime, take a lesson from Guinevere--become a queen! Take this time to become wiser, stronger, more loving. Do not wait for him to rescue you--rescue yourself. Become the woman you are meant to be and you will attract the knight worthy of your love!
Some books that I love and you may also . . .
Guinevere, Queen of the Summer Country and The Knight of the Sacred Lake--both by Rosalind Miles. And one to remind you of the queen you are--A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson.
Tracie
My Thoughts:
my thought is--
gay people arent bad
My Thoughts:
my other thought-- Buddy not all people believe in jesus and so dont try to make other people convert.
My Thoughts:
"Should you decide to share some moments of my life...
enter softly and warmly.
Be careful to take only that which is offerd--
and when you leave....
do so quietly and quickly...while I am pre-occupied." Logan Clarke
My Thoughts:
"Desperation gives birth---
to ludicrous optimism.." tearabar.com
" In order to have a pocket full of dreams,
one must first have--
a hand filled with vision.." tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
"Your destiny on earth
lies in the blank pages
of an unwritten story.
Pick up the pen
and accept responsibility-
of the author" Last Night an Angel Stopped By....tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
"If your thoughts become carefree
and you yearn for distant places to be
Come seek a brand new path with me
and share the summer wine....
And if along the way we find
an understanding of all mankind...
We'll go back home with peace of mind
and dream another dream..."
tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
Ah what a cold crisp day here but at least the sun is shining bright and melting some of that pretty white snow we recently got. Sure makes you thankful for warm weather.
The cold air makes you see your own breath, and gives you those nice rosey red cheeks.
Nancy
My Thoughts:
I used to change to be what other people thought I should be. I guess that sounds stupid... but I only wanted people to accept me, even if that meant I changed in order to be accepted.
Deep breath, brave steps forward...
SO now I choose to let my true self shine through! If people don't like parts of me, that is their opinion. It takes a lot of different people to fill up this world, and I choose to be original!
-T.D.
My Thoughts:
Hi there, This is really a great place to read all the stuff out there. To the one or ones that are or by now thinking of suicide please don't!!! You are special and when you are feeling down, maybe talk to a friend, or clean or go for a walk but just don't do it. Think of all the people that will miss you. There are plenty who would. I too have depression and struggle with the lows from time to time. See your Dr. for a check-up you might need a medication change too. We have to make life worth it so this doesn't win and beat us.......
Take Care,
Nancy
My Thoughts:
thanks Nancy. That was encouraging.
tessydrop@hotmail.com
My Thoughts:
Time to let down the barriers to let your soul free... Never let negative words or feelings weigh down the carefree child who still lives deep within your heart....
TD
My Thoughts:
Perhaps once in a hundred years a person may be ruined by excessive praise, but surely once every minute someone dies inside for lack of it
Ephesians 4:29
Chao
My Thoughts:
I was led to this site just today. What a special day. Tomorrow I will be back. And tonight I will invite Soul to tell me why she brought me here. RAFFY
My Thoughts:
What do you do when you meet someone wonderful but you know from the beginning your two lives could never mesh? When you are on such totally different paths and at such different places in your lives that it could never work . . . do you just pass up the opportunity to get to know them? Or do you risk a broken heart knowing full well it couldn't work?
T.
My Thoughts:
MY THOUGHTS:
I WANT TO LIVE SPIRITUALLY, PEACEFULLY, QUIETLY,
JOYFULLY, BUT YET, I STILL FUN AND EXCITEMENT
IN MY LIFE. I WANT THIS FOR OTHERS AS WELL**NY
My Thoughts:
Recently I read that in order to find the love of my life, I need to stop wishing and planning. So today when the opportunity to wish came along I said a prayer instead...and asked God to give me the very best He had in store for me! I will wait and pray...I will continue to love myself and others...I will believe that my prayer was heard and will be answered in God's perfect time!
I am a writer...some don't understand, some say I need to publish my works. I am a teacher asst. with B.D. kids...some don't understand, some say I need to finish my degree so that I can "really" teach. I have many talents, and gifts that God has Blessed me with...some don't understand, some say I need to take those talents and gifts and share them with others to bring them to Christ. Today, like everyday, I ask God to lead me to the people He wants my words to touch...that He wants me to teach...that He wants me to bring to a relationship with Christ. Was that someone you today?
><> <>< Doni
My Thoughts:
Everything looks so dark and shallow i am so lonely,the valentines day blues is kicking in,i am all alone ,i have been forever iam young but i have never had a valentine on valentines day my thing has been those 2 3 day long things just having a good tiem i have had a couple boys who i loved my curent boyfiend did make me feel just so special,all those onenight stands had made me think i was just good for when guys had a night away from their girlfriend.i am good looking ,really but i was really afraid of commitement and drama in relationships sometime it got to me.when i met my curent boyfriend all this joy came into me i cant explain.welive in different sides of the world and have done it for months lots of months i think i will break up with him,the boy i love the most but having i mean "Having" him hurts me a lot because he cant be with me so i want to call it quits now even it breaks my heart i am sure a s hell he is the love of my life but ihave to let go...Kristie 25/Ca
My Thoughts:
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.
- Bussy-Rabutin
My Thoughts:
What if the only "life lesson" I am here to learn is how it feels to be miserable?
My Thoughts:
It seems, at least for the moment, that I'm destined to bang my head on the wall. Though I accept that the Creator has a higher purpose for me sometimes I rail against my seeming lack of progress. I'm praying for the patience to see my progress, no matter how small it might seem.
Michelle
My Thoughts:
My thought for the day...
Why is it that just when I think a burden has been lifted another load is dropped? Some days I amaze myself by the resillience that I muster and the strength that I possess. I'm thankful that Jesus said "Come to me all you who are burdened and I will give you rest." Why? Because I sure don't find it from my work, family, even friends who seem to think that my energy and resources are never-ending.
Today was one of those "do I really have to go out in the world?" days...but you know, now that it is almost over and I can look back, oh what sweet BLESSINGS God gave to me today! I'll name a few, maybe they'll spark a glimmer for you!
A cooperative ex-spouse, my 5 year old neice just calling to say,"I LOVE YOU NANA", listening to my 7 year old read, sharing the Christian message of LOVE with students at church, seeing 6 Jr. High girls in a circle of prayer at our PUBLIC school, frost on the trees, an extra tight squeeze, and believe it or not, hearing my 12 year old say "OH, MOM!!!" WOW what a glorious day it turned out to be...and to think I would have passed it up for even one second makes me feel very selfish, very self-centered! Thank you, Lord.
><> Doni <><
My Thoughts:
"Young love is innocent
Old love is cautious
Wise love is true....
But I am neither young
nor old
nor wise
Yet I am innocent
cautious
and true"
Bettye....tearabar.com
Last Night an Angel Stopped By.....
My Thoughts:
"Procrastination.......
is the pallbearer
of opportunity" www.tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
"I like flat stomachs, in place of feathers when I sleep....but tonight I'll have to settle for the starched pillows that all hotel rooms have."
Logan
My Thoughts:
"I the Sun....
light the darkness....and warm the cold.
Each day I view the world-
a world infested with hate.
I ask you....
is love really so hard ?"
Logan....www.tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
"I did not find God in some hotel room, between the pages of Gideon.
Nor did he come to me through the lips of men in churches, who pretend
to be holier than me !" Logan.........tearabar.com
My Thoughts:
Today, I am filled with energy and working away! It feels so good to be getting things done for a change!
My Thoughts:
I sit here at my desk doing "work" that does not inspire me or compel me to rush in to work in the morning.
I long to find my purpose--my calling. I know there is something I am supposed to be doing. I pray that I find it soon, and that I have the ability to recognize my talents.
T.
My Thoughts:
Ever hear of that saying "If you love someone/something, let it go. If it comes back it is true, if not it was never meant to be"? I am learning that it hurts to see those 'dear' things flying off into the distance, knowing full well this is the end. But it is strangely liberating to be freed of the insanity I was so accustomed to. Why do I feel guilty for being thankful that this is finally the end of years of abuse? Just a by-product of the games that were played with my soul, my too-kind and too-trusting heart.
Good bye and farewell to those who left my life once again. Never again shall you knock on my door or call my number in an effort to rid yourself of your self-inflicted pain. Now I can live my life with out fearing the knock at the door, or the ringing of the phone. I don't have to be ordered to carry the heavy cross that all of you have created for yourselves. I can live without all of you, as I have been blessed with a man and a child to replace all the hurt caused by you, you who could never really love me anyway. I am handing you back you selfish guilt, your manipulative games, no longer will I allow you to scar my battered heart.
Now I am free. I feel like I have wandered out of a small, isolated building, and am now seeing the world with new eyes. Yes, it may take me some time for my eyes to adjust to the brightness and my legs to find strength to carry me. I may stumble and trip at first, and surely you will laugh at me as I struggle. But shortly I will be leaping and skipping and enjoying life as if all those years were nothing but a passing nightmare, a forgotten memory. You will then be alone with the demons who call out your name, the demons you have created for yourself.
I stretch my arms, raise my head, and with a radiply beating heart, thank the Father who rescued me from my prison. Now it is my turn to live in the light.
-Taydev@hotmail.com
My Thoughts:
Keep on writing! :) Writing is theraputic.
My Thoughts:
Hello, my name is Katishah Battle and I was just browsing threw the Soulful Living section that discussed various things in reference to soulful living. It is Quite clear that the meaning of soulful living is living a glorious life;meaning living life to it's fullest potential getting the best that you can while maintaining. Soulful Living is a very interesting topic because it brings a variety of thoughts to my mind such as how do individuals live a soulful life and are they living right or where do Soulful Living takes place.I just think of plenty of issues about
Soulful Living because it's pretty exciting when you think about it.
My Thoughts:
I finally had the nerve to ask for some time for myself tonight. I know that this sounds like no big deal, but trust me when I say that it was HUGE! Once I had the time, what I had to do only took about half an hour...and I was so tied up in knots that I couldn't even enjoy the extra time that I had. I struggle with where I am but more with where God wants me to be. I ask for His guidance, and hear nothing but, DON'T LET THE FIRE DIE. I ponder. The fire I feel for Jesus I will not let die...if that is the fire God meant. The fire I felt for my love is now nothing more than an ember...I've tried to keep a tender spark there, but now realize that for a long time it wasn't him that fanned the flame, but me...one-sided love soon grows cold. And when there is glimmer it is soon doused because it was probably just me trying to believe that it was really love. New love? It could have been, but the fire blazed too quickly and at the wrong time, and has been doused by others who don't want this love in my life. Others who are more important than anyone else to me except the Trinity. Many feel that I shouldn't let this flame fade, but I believe that in His time God will send someone to me to fan my flame, stirring the ashes, kindling the embers, until once again a spark of real love will exist. Not love that almost fits, or that kind of works, but love that is just right for me (us). I have to believe this, because The Bible says, "ask and it shall be given to you, if you ask in line with what your Heavenly Father wants for you." Well I know that He will eventually answer my prayer, because I know that He wants to give me what is best for me if I am just willing to accept it! For now, I will keep my heart on fire for Jesus, and look toward the cross...for it is there that I find my HOPE, my STRENGTH, my PEACE each day.
><>Doni<><
My Thoughts:
CHURCH IS FUNNY!SCHOOL IS OK!i HAVE A DOG SHE IS COCKERSPANIEL MIXED WITH BLUE SHELTIE
My Thoughts:
The strongest evidence of love is sacrifice
John 3:16
Chao
My Thoughts:
I'm scared.I'm 17 ,but I haven't been dating a guy longer than two weeks,guys run away for me,why?I'm very beautiful,that's for sure,but I don't care for their looks.Then why do they let them think that I sleep with every guy I talk to and send my smiles at?In fact,I'm a virgin.Why they think if I'm pretty,I sleep with everyone I meet.I'm smart,becuase I'm an honor student of the law department,I always have something more interesting to discuss than makeup and clothes,but guys never stay with me.They come and go.And no one believes that I'm an absolutely different person.Yep,of course I will find someone to go to the Valentine's Party,there are tons of guys hangin' on my tail,but hey I need real love,the person who doesn't even know about my existence,who doesn't care nor for my looks ,nor for my inner world.What am I supposed to do,if he doesn't love me if he's not attracted to me even a bit.....tears,they are in my eyes right now...I won't bear that too long,maybe I look to pretty and that's why no one wants to love me...I need help,terribly need help....
My Thoughts:
To Miss Scared 17 year old...
Be proud of who you are, no matter how much people try to drag you down. Those boys you talk about are insecure and intimidated by your success. They feel they could never rise to your level, so they try to drag you down to theirs instead. I fell victim to that myself and wasted time losing track of WHO I AM. All because my desire to have romantic love in my life was greater than my need to stay stong until a real MAN entered my life.
Your heart is so big that you will have no problem having a love in your life. Spend this 'single' time cultivating your soul and your spirit, so when MR. ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL enters your life, you'll know exactly what you have to offer him and to your relationship. It will happen! I think the ages of 16-20 are the TOUGHEST for a young woman, so your feelings are totally natural.
My prayers are with you - Stay strong.
TD
My Thoughts:
I just started to journal again after many years of not keeping a journal. A met a man at a book store who is in a journal discussion group. He gave me this web site address. If I see him again I will have to thank him, this site is great. I will be a wonderful help to me in keeping up with my journal. Thank you Ed.
My Thoughts:
It can be so tough to be an adult! Yet I still pray for contentment with what I have and with who I am. I also pray for a peaceful heart. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute....
My Thoughts:
I don't think he will ever realize how much pain he caused me today simply because he was only thinking about his own pain. But with that pain a powerful
surge of strength also followed and it's going to take alot to get me to come back.
My Thoughts:
Today is a sad day for me. I have discovered that I am not the great woman of independence but a woman who is subject to life's cruel circumstances. So I look to heaven for the answer, "Why am I here?" Perhaps tommorrow will be better.
My Thoughts:
Today I resolve to do something, anything that will make me smile.
My Thoughts:
live more than we hop butwe must know what we know
hussein
My Thoughts:
It is so cold, dark and wet outside today--but I feel warm inside.
T.
My Thoughts:
Feel free to share your life and hopes with me,
But remember to do it with honesty.
My Thoughts:
Why did you tell me that you would not give me up, then turn around and leave me exposed to the cold and loneliness of not having your friendship?
My Thoughts:
At this time, I am feeling very appreciative towards the design and colors for the Soulful Living web site.........delightful, yummy!
Thanks, Susie
My Thoughts:
Today, I'm feeling as if a door has opened and given way to let a new experience take form. It's as if I'm looking into snapshots of a time to come.
It feels exciting!!!!!
My Thoughts:
As I rushed into the pharmacy at walmart my hands were shaking, and my heart pounding in my throat. Up and down the aisles, searching endlessly. Little beads of sweat are starting to form on my forehead and the back of my neck. Finally I see it locked in a acrylic box with a sign which reads 2weeks supply for only forty - five dollars and ninty six cents. Instantly Lighted banners begin flashing subliminal messages in my brain : That's way too much to spend what if it doesn't work, what then . You still have a carton at home wait till you finish them. Standing in front of the acrylic box I'm mesmerized, yes - no - maybe . I walked around to the next aisle and look at the vitamins.Then tell myself lou you got to stop it's time dear God it's pass time. A tiny voice gently speaks: You can't continue this lifestyle and it not catch up to you. Listen to me you love sonny,and he lying in a hospital bed wondering if this is the time they will say it's CA. He has got to quit and so do you. Before he comes home right now. With each word from the gentle voice another light burned out in the flashing banner. I went to the counter and requested a box the 2week supply for only forty - five dollars and ninty - six cents . The cashier asked are you okay. I could hear myself say yes as my eyes stayed fixated on that
darn acrylic box. I will be better soon. I watch every move in slow motion unlocking the acrylic box taking the box of nicotine patches over to the counter. Starting to ring them up just as that calming sigh is about to happen. Some stupid dump
woman asked where could she find some udder cream for cracked dry hands. I begin to tremble with fear and tears are beginning to form in my eyes. Dear God lady who gives a
hoot about your hands. If I don't get these patches on I will screem. The cashier looks at me and see the desperation and finishes ringing me up. My dry shaky voice said thank you, but could I please put one on now . The cigarette diary
My Thoughts:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not save the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Nelson Mandela Inauguration speech 1994
My Thoughts:
Keeping our place through our journals opens new avenues of personal growth. Looking back through my writings, I find I have predicted and fulfilled many of the things I've written. I look forward to discovering what treasures I'll uncover in the upcoming days, weeks, months, and years ahead.
**Deborah**
My Thoughts:
It has been awhile since I wrote here
I am Diariest.
I have missed all of you .
Check out my Diary Club
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/diariestpages
My Thoughts:
Just One Kiss...
Just one kiss will make you fall in love
But take your time and do it right 'cause we are two doves
Peace, ONE LOVE
By: CandyApple
Divine1803@aol.com
to read more of my poetry
My Thoughts:
My BlackDove
A man who is genuine real...Understanding, loving, and knows what I need...who stands tall and strong...thur hard times and good...whether I was wrong or right...his there...who has a mind control not his pants...who treats me with respect like a beauty queen...not even raising his hand to hurt me...who helps take the pains away...my falling tears he catches...my broken heart he heals...his always is by my side...his affectionate...his charming...his my mentor...my friend...my best friend...my lover...my love...my soulmate...my hero...my prince...my king...his is my BlackDove.
-CandyApple
Divine1803@aol.com
My Thoughts:
So alone
Trapped inside a youthful body with a mind that wanders...here and there...
So alone
Trapped inside a past, and present that few care to understand
So alone
Trapped in despair of what the future will bring in the next minute...hour...day...year
So alone
Trapped by my own ignorance of what you are going through
So alone
Trapped by my feelings of wanting to be there for you
So alone
Trapped within the confines of my time and the needs of those I love
So alone
Trapped in reality that you don't understand I do what I can do today and then go on my way
I hope that someday, someone will do for me what I have done for you if I find myself
So alone
Trapped
><>Doni<><
My Thoughts:
I love to write. I would love to be a published writer, but I can't seem to finish any of my writings. I start something and don't know how to continue it. I get stuck. I hate when that happens, and it happens all the time. How I wish I could write. I love the feeling of tapping on the computers and words on the screen. I love writing on my journal and the feel of the pen gliding on the paper. But my words are meaningless. I have nothing to tell. I have nothing of interest. How do writers do it? I find it so difficult and yet I yearn to write. Sometimes I feel I can write forever or until my hands get tired. I don't care what I put on paper so long as I'm writing. I feel the same way when I eat chocolate or when I dance or when I listen to music. Words just can't describe it. Authors out there, would you give me some advice. How do I finish my writing? How do I make it interesting? What do people want to know about anyway? Authors out dare, please won't you help me? What should I do? How should I continue my writing? I'm stuck.
My Thoughts:
2/16/01
Dear "Stuck",
I feel as if reading by your entry, you had read my mind. I write daily also and often wish I were published, or had something beautiful, meaningful and deep to say. I believe that writing for writing sake may be enough. If we are driven to write just for enjoyment of the craft, that may be all we can ask for. Perhaps, with enough practice--and observation of life, we will one day become recognized for our talents. For now, isn't it enough just to record the "meaningless" thoughts we have? What do we need to prove that our words are enough? Money, fame? Hey--most great artists aren't even acknowledged until they're dead! Keep writing--your stories will come. Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone!
If anything, writing has given me the gift of experiencing every moment--I make the effort to go out there and live my own stories, find my own voice. Sometimes that's not easy. All I really want to do is light the candles, turn on the music, read and write. But I know that the best authors venture out and live "juicy". Let's not hide ourselves away searching too much for the "deep" insights--let's just take that journal with us--everywhere!
T.
My Thoughts:
P.S. to "Stuck"
It's interesting that you wrote "authors out 'dare', won't you help me?"
T.
My Thoughts:
From Diariest To Other Writers
I live in Ohio and it seems so hard to find other writers I need inspiration It seems so hard to sit down and relax and do some writing that is something I love to you .I have left messages on the message board but I can never find other writers Where are you diariest/writers if you are out there email me : diariest@suite101.com or check out my web site :http://writerscloset.homestead.com ~*~*~*~*~*~*I need inspiration~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Thoughts:
Well, I am engaged to a man who will be leaving me soon.
I cried all day today
I dont understand
Why do I have to suffer
I have been thru this to many time
I am tired
I dont think I will find another man like him
I LOVE YOU,
Fresh
~CandyApple
My Thoughts:
Poor, poor sister.
She thinks I gave up on her.
Not true.
Just doing what she asked me to do.
Backing off.
She thinks I get too deep.
SO I tiptoed away.
Did her problems tiptoe away with me?
Maybe, maybe not...
But she is still blaming me.
So I continue to tiptoe.
I will tiptoe until I hear her true voice.
For the one I hear is muddled with pain and confusion.
I can't be near till her voice has been cleansed
Of the pain she holds so dear to her soul.
Dragging her down, down, down.
I tried to help her up!
But alas, I lost my footing.
I slipped and we fell.
Down, down, down.
I think she hates me because I lost my footing.
She has the strength of a thousand men
She will find her footing.
So I did not leave her to abandon her.
I have to find my own way, and she has to find hers.
We need to carry our own burdens.
Not rest our weight on each other.
That is not the purpose of reunion.
Two women standing tall, scanning the horizons.
Are we walking apart or together?
I can't tell - my eyes are straight forward.
But perhaps someday she will be in my feild of vision again.
Tall and strong.
-TD
My Thoughts:
Things happen for a reason.
WHy can't we accept that and move on?
We always try to change what He has planned.
Then we weep at the pain we created for ourselves.
I don't think it is meant to be.
I think you know it to.
Silence is an answer.
Ssshhhhh.....
My Thoughts:
why why why me?
My Thoughts:
2/18/01
She was here...Or is she gone...Life is nothing to live for...should she go...her heart pours out with tears of hurt...Is it pain...she suffers...how is she going to make it...she griefs over her lost soul...what is she going to do...Live to see another day.
~CandyApple
My Thoughts:
Secret lover...hush, don't say a word...you'll blow my undercover...listen, they heard...
Look, I got to go now...I think they are looking for me...huh, take this towel...go, and be free...
I'm upstairs...in the bedroom...no, i am not having a fair...baby, why you here so soon...
Show me what...who is that...<man, I am going to kick his butt>...Oh, so your Pat...
Husband, why is he in our house...I didn't let him in...well, go and get the hell out...Honey, we need to get an alarm system again...
I love you, too, boo.
~CandyApple
My Thoughts:
my thoughts of the day: realizing that i have not spent my time in the most productive or empowering way has been a wake up call for me to begin to live my life in a more soulful and loving way instead of wasting it in idleness. although i have some regrets i wont dwell on them and i can move on from here to being the best that i can be ...
My Thoughts:
secrets can ruin innocence... live for the truth...
My Thoughts:
I am reclaiming myself today......Whatever paths, whatever journey I encounter from this day forth will be because I have chosen it and not because someone has forced or has chosen a particular flow for me.
My Thoughts:
irfmughal
My Thoughts:
i just started my new job as a debt collector.
My Thoughts:
.um ponto final para comecar um texto que de tao longo me tomaria todo o espaco de um dia. estou me sentindo cansada ate para pensar e a vida passou a ter uma cor de realidader que as vezes faz arder meus olhos e eu choro diante de tanto desalento e desesperanca. sinceramente gostaria de sentir-me melhor e ser capaz de deslizar meus dedos pelo teclado em palavras belas e encorajadoras daquelas que levantam o animo de quem ler.felizmente que sou tambem covarde e nao me arrisco a escrever em ingles quebrado os cacos dos meus sentimentos confusos quanto a esse dia nublado nesse momento da vida. devo no entanto, mesmo em meio a tanta amargura dizer que acredito em Deus e sei que cedo ou tarde "algo" dentro ou fora de mim precisara acontecer para que eu possa como ser humano e como mulher mostrar que sou capaz de overcome as limitacoes que o medo me impoe.sorry pelos rasgos na gramatica, meu PC nao comunga comigo e de repente que diferenca faria acertar se ninguem pode me entender?a todos eu desejo um dia bom, uma semana melhor ainda e uma vida cheia de coragem, saude e amor.
freire/Brazil
My Thoughts:
Huh
My Thoughts:
What a empowering site. Not everything is "happy" but that is ok because that is what life is all about. We are able to reach to others with our words and that is how we learn and grow. My life has been up and down for 31 years now and alot of it wasn't "happy" and I've been very self destructive to my being. By the grace of God I'm now in recovery and life has taken on a new peaceful meaning. From someone who was slowly but surely killing herself, I now have learned that there is hope and the rest of my life has beautiful things in store for me..THERE IS HOPE!!! Kristen
My Thoughts:
To Kristen The woman who wins may have been counted out several time, but she didn't hear the referee.
good luck
Chao
My Thoughts:
We can't always show to someone what we already know. They unfortunatly have to go through each little hell on their own. I read that in a poetry book over fifteen years ago and it has always stuck with me. I've been through the experience myself many times and I find it to be true. Many times people would try to warn me of situations that could be very damaging to myself and I always thought that it wouldn't happen to me. Well, I learned the hard way that they were right, but then again I feel as if I was meant to go through what I went through in order to get to where I am today. Even though I wish I could of avoided all of the pain and self destruction, I'm thankful to have made it out alive and to have a deeper understanding of who I am. I now hold the knowledge of my own "little hell" and know it's nothing I want to go back to. I will say that it would of been easier to have taken anothers word on it, so don't ever think it couldn't happen to you, it just might. And hopefully you can come out of it alive and be able to share with others like I have. God Bless.....Kristen
My Thoughts:
I visited my mother in the hospital this evening... Her body is dying, but her mind seemed so alert... what a terribly sad state to be in...
Mom, I love you so much! I take your love with me in my heart... and I leave my love here in yours...
Good night.
My Thoughts:
I am feeling very good today. It is raining and I am home looking out the window feeling very luck. I know its temporary and I will have up and downs. My life journey is still exciting
I am welcoming change in my job and looking forward to find a relationship that will allow me growth but
still allow love. I am high on Saturday. God Bless All.
My Thoughts:
my thoughts for the day...
im happy that i have made progress in writing online
and have been having good dreams lately. life is full of possibilities and although i have made a few recent mistakes im learning from them and i know that everything happens for a reason both good and bad things because we have lessons to learn. then u learn from your mistakes and move on to the next thing in life.
My Thoughts:
Sunshine breaking through the clouds
Icy pools reflect promise
Bare trees before long
Will provide shade
from
Sunshine breaking through the clouds
These cycles in nature
remind me that
For everything there is a time (ECCL)
but how does this relate to me?
To the season of my life?
My love?
Each time I see the "Son"
Breaking through the "clouds"
Of my life,
reflecting "LOVE" from the icy pools of my heart
I wonder if I can stretch my "Bare arms"
to encircle you
to shade you
from the heat that life brings to you right now
And I realize that
you have to find your own shade
you have to want the reflection of Him in your life
you have to meet the Son as He breaks through the clouds of your life
just as I do
I can't see Him, feel Him, welcome Him,
For you...
And until then, will I wait?
Will I move on?
Will I find peace in the everyday?
And night?
I lift my bare arms
in prayer and praise.
I look for the truth
that I can hold onto.
I hang a swing from the bare branches
and in the interim I play
I let the wounded little girl
surface and invite her to meet Him,
To heal, to feel, to laugh, to cry.
I wait...
And I'm thankful today for the
sun breaking through the clouds.
><>Doni<><
My Thoughts:
Feb. 25, 2001
Why is it so hard to break up with someone who really love you and that doesn't want to break up?
My Thoughts:
Life stinks and there are no solutions to the troubles abound.
Thoughtfully,
Rachelle
My Thoughts:
Even though it's cold with freezing rain, I'm at work for 5+ more hours, I have to take a bus home tonight, I still have found today to be a beautiful day. My "husband" and I had a loving, good weekend together, eating chinese, watching movies, reconecting with one another... These are the little things in life I cherish today. I'm grateful to be alive, I'm thankful to be me today. There were many years wasted while thinking during that time that I wouldn't ever be content or happy with my life. Not every day is roses, but, they're not full of thorns either. We all have the power to change things around for ourselves. It's not always easy but very well worth it.
Kristen
My Thoughts:
I have many thoughts... more so of the things I have
learned in my 35 years. I have never considered much
until recently. This month my world came crashing down.
The man who I have been married to was sentenced to prison.
How crushed, how tragic, how sickening 15 years of marriage
ended up to be. Although it is only a short term of two
years, it is still a long time where two people have
never been apart. The reality of having everything to
having not even a pot to call your own, the prospect
of anger and divorce have crossed my mind. What can not
be denied is that love matters, and no matter what has
happened, the forgiveness is compelling. These short days
of his absence is hard to bear, but I know that I can
get through the lonliness and sadness. I know he will
come back better. My thoughts are... that love can conqure
all. The stength to get through these times rely on the power
of love. Is there anyone out there who knows this pain? Share
yours thoughts with me. angellstar
My Thoughts:
Angellstar, please know that love does conquer all and that all things happen for a reason. If you two share an amazing and true love, then stick by his side and be his angel. The next 2 years will be hard, but you both will come out stronger. Allow the love and forgiveness to grow. God bless you both.
-nevaeh
My Thoughts:
Evil is the absence of EMPATHY. Never forget the pain others feel. Break this cycle of hatred and let's replace the hate with understanding. Learn to love yourself so you can also love others.
My Thoughts:
I thank GOD that I can call my mother today and let her know of all the positive things in my life ,instead of hiding the ugly truth of the way I used to live. My mother has surprised me with her acts of unconditional love, accepting who I was and feeling relief and joy about how my life is turning for the best now since being in recovery. For a while there, I felt that she had given up on me. I know now that she was always there for me hoping and praying I would be able to live the life she always wanted for me...a good life without heroin. I thankful for her support and I'm thankful to be free today. Kristen
My Thoughts:
May God bless the souls of people who mean others harm.
My Thoughts:
23 years later and I'm still here! Guess I'm tougher than I thought!
Ready to fulfill my divine plan - open mind, open soul, open heart. The lessons I've learned will act as a filter, guarding my conscience. Eyes forward to the future!
To my hubby: Hand in hand, joined together. We can conquere it all together! How lucky we are to have each other. :)
My Thoughts:
Today I decided that you are not to make me feel bad because of your problems. I realized that alot of times people are so full of their own problems and thoughts that sometimes their response to an innocent remark or a gesture is taken wrong.It's not that the person has spoken in an ill manner or has been disrespectful of emotion but rather that some people's spirits are in such conflict or sorrow that they take everything as an insult. I will continue to treat others fairly, respectfully and with empathy and other than that all I can say is "C'est la vie"!
My Thoughts:
I am so proud to be a woman!!!!!!!!!
My Thoughts:
It never ceases to amaze me this thing called the
WOMAN'S SOUL
Who can undergo the most tragic of events and still
continue to carry out her life and nurture those who
live around her.
My Thoughts:
Some people tend to use the TRUTH as a club... and then proceed to beat other people to death with it. Then they sit on their almighty tush and say "I'm not wrong, cause it is the TRUTH".
I'm not going to fight any more. I tiptoed away because it is quite obvious that who I am is not good enough for you.
You've got your wish. I got off that plane, and stayed for a while. But now I look back, wave, and am getting back on that plane to a new home, in a new city, and plan on enjoying a fresh start.
Enjoy your life the way you wanted it all along: Without ME, once again. If we run into each other in the future, maybe my presence won't make you cringe or cry anymore.
Whether you want me to or not, I have and will love you... but I guess it will just be from afar. Your wish has been granted, now I quietly say Goodbye.
My Thoughts:
I wonder what it is like to wake up in the morning and enjoy my day the way I choose to... without wondering if what I do will be acceptable to others, or will I only end up hurting feelings again?
For the first time in my life I will greet the morning and eagerly set out to be who I CHOOSE TO BE!
Step aside, cause I'm running through! :)
My Thoughts:
It's strange how we can turn mountains out of mole hills. My husband lives in another city about an hour away for right now and I had a very hard time getting a hold of him via telephone. Every time I phoned him I would get more and more anxious to speak with him and then my mind would start wandering about what could be wrong and why hasn't he called me. My old insecurities came up and I started to feel as if he didn't care to speak with me. Well, today I finally reached him only to find out that he's been trying to call me as well all week and because of our schedules we kept missing each other. Why did I get myself worked up for nothing? Why do we jump the gun and start to feel as if something bad is happening? It's easy to do to ourselves at times though because for me I was always looking for the negative aspects of life for so long. I'm learning that I am a person of love and respect these days and this situation has helped me look at myself once again. If I keep up with a possitive attitude about life and it's situations today I will be able to trust that everything is ok and I don't need to worry unnecessarily anymore. Kristen
My Thoughts:
I like being able to do things that I love again. For years the only important things in my life were totally self destructive and killing my spirit. Not knowing who you are and being controlled by a powerful substance is absolutly terrible to say the least. I like to read my tarot cards again, I have money again, I have self worth again, I'm learning who I am and remembering my talents, and i'm learning to love freely because I'm learning to love me again. Life can be up and down but I'm thankful for a second chance to make it work again. Kristen
My Thoughts:
I feel so desperately sad tonight. I worry that this wound I carry will always be a part of me. I worry that my pain will always be as sharp. I am terrified that I will not have the strength to go on - that these moments are the final lines of my verse.
My Thoughts:
Please know that time heals all wounds... And know that I speak from experience.
My Thoughts:
I can't change the past but I can shape the future. Quietly I ponder all I have to offer.
My Thoughts:
Why must I have it all? Why can't I let go of the past- an exhusband who I didn't want who has married again and yet I push into his life to be first-to be more than his wife now. I have a wonderful husband and I don't want the ex back- but I have to be the most important one. Why am I so selfish
My Thoughts:
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,
An hour to like someone and,
A day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
My Thoughts:
Today is a new day, filled with unendless possibilities. Today I face a dragon and
I conquer my fear with a real solution. Today is good day. I feel lifted up.....
Tomorrow I do not know about. But, I know who holds tomorrow and because
Jesus lives eternal, then I can face tomorrow too.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us,
May God bless and keep you
Sharone
My Thoughts:
Sometimes I feel like I am only absorbing information and fine-tuning my skills in preparation for times ahead.
I love to write, and slowly am improving.
I want to learn so I can help others.
I'm warming up to become
What I am Meant to Be.
My Thoughts:
It's 1:52 A.M. and I just can't sleep. I'm struggling with the "Why's". Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? I know God gave us all free will, and it is not God DOING the bad, but why, oh why, oh why!!!!!!!!!!! A friend lost a child yesterday - another lost a wife. I know I should be concentrating on Faith, and it is so important for me to stay close to God - but I'm so angry with Him today. Can I say that, will I be punished? I love my God, but I'm so sad and confused.
My Thoughts:
Help me to be patient so I can help him get better. It's something he has to do all by himself, even though his actions affect the whole household.
My Thoughts:
What is it about the bonds of matrimony that keep us bound even after the marriage ends? Is this a sign that we should still be together or that we just haven't let go and moved on? Sometimes I think that all I want is that...a fresh start, a new relationship, definitely with someone who loves and appreciates me. Yet, there is forever before me the power of you to turn my world upside down, to take my life and spin it around. Friends say, "We can't be taken advantage of unless we allow it..." I know that I need to better stand up for myself with you, against you, from you...but ingrained deep in my subconscious and etched across my heart is a submissive tendency that emerges with you. Am I weak? I think not. Is it fear? Sometimes. But more it is respect, compassion (not co-dependence), LOVE that makes or allows me to give to you.
But still the question remains,"HOW DO I MOVE ON?"
Will I ever reach the point in my life when someone else will mean as much as the illusion of what we could have had? I want a real relationship, not a fairy tale where there is no pain, are no problems..I know that doesn't exist. Rather, I would prefer ups and downs shared together. Hills and valleys seen side by side. For now I am content to be alive, and free, and know that if it be God's will someone is out there waiting for me.
><> Doni <><
My Thoughts:
rain rain go away
My Thoughts:
The drinkner, someone who seems to have things
undercontrol, yet burdened with a little voice
that says, "This has to stop". The struggle is one
seen however the monkey has more control. The concept
of loosing everything does not bother nor does the
potential pain brought upon those left in the after
math. Then there is regret and haunting of the past to
torching every day in lock up. The drinker might knows
his wrong doing and may pray for a change, but it seems there is always
a price to it. That price is the tears and loss shed
by a marital partner, the death of an innocent, and
angry victims who feel distruction of one family is payment
for the death of thier loved one. And if the drinker is lucky
maybe there would be no accident, the price to be paid
is the abuse to those loved. This mystery astounds me.
Shatters my faith with the question of "why me?". I am
angry, royally pissed off because I am a victum too.
I have no voice in the legal system because of who I
am married to. No one cares about this person who is
made homeless, impoverished, and without transportation.
Who has to live off welfare because the jobs applied for
are letters that say, " thank you but no thank you
we have found someone who more meets our needs." Like
lets get judgemental and accuse that personell agent
of selecting someone who just might be the daughter, wife
or lover of the police chief. Life sucks, no matter how
often you play by the rules. When your married to a
drinker.... you will always loose.
it that so much damage has to happen before the drinking
stops. I realize that it is a disease and those involved
know the insanity but
My Thoughts:
When Dad died...Oct.9,2001...he peeled back the curtain that veils this life from the other side..very tentative at first. I held his hand. He saw a boy that I could not see.The boy made him smile, as he had seen the boy before, on the ride to the hospital, in ER, and now in his room. He raised his hand as if to beckon to something which I could not see. Then he saw a sparrow..Whatever he saw next must have been truly glorious, for he had no words to describe it to me...he truly glowed and peacefully passed on, through, over? Leaving me in complete awe...at this man, at this life...Later I would feel the aches in my heart as faced the pain of a daughter losing her father. But for that moment I felt utter amazement and wonder! Wow! Ginny
My Thoughts:
another day is over and I have the whole weekend to be lonely and dwell on how she has hurt me and ignored me....yet AGAIN!!!!...and after all I have done for her, and all of the blood sweat and tears (literally) I have lost because of her and for her and it hurts knowing that she would never do for me what I do/have done for her....but I don't understand why? well I guess I do in a way....we are all different...we all do different things for different reasons....but still....I wish I could find somebody like me that wouldn't leave me hanging. I know I would never leave her hanging. I've given up plans among other things to help her....sorry if this sounds like a big pity kick, but I am deeply hurt....its been going on for so long, and its getting to the point where its my focus, which isn't healthy....theres got to be a middle ground somewhere...there is a solution waiting for me to act on it, once I find it...this isn't meant to end bitterly...or at all maybe...theres just a switch somewhere buried deep, and I have to shut it off...or turn it on...
My Thoughts:
There is a season for everything in life... sometimes when a season changes we are sad, other times we are more than ready for the change. No matter what season tends to be our FAVORITE, all the seasons and the changes are necessary to complete a healthy cycle of life.
The snow is melting, birds are beginning to sing.. time for a complete spring cleaning. Shake out the dusty rugs, sweep out the dirt and cobwebs, shine the dingy windows. Take in the sun and fresh air and rejoice at the new life being created all around.
It's good to feel the new life beginning to bud and take root in my soul. I ask the LORD to instruct me in how to nuture that life in order to grow into a strong, healthy shoot of HIS life. He is the faithful gardener, working in my heart.
-TD
My Thoughts:
Spring, oh Spring... my most favorite time of the year! You've arrived just in time! I am ever so grateful!
My Thoughts:
I don't know what's wrong with me. I am so tired. I'm taking vitamins and my medication since I found out that I have a thyroid condition, but I'm still very tired. I hate this feeling. I used to exercise, but now I can't seem to get myself to start again. I really hate this feeling. I wonder what I can take for this tired feeling. Vitamins aren't helping. Can someone out there suggest something? I would really be forever grateful. Well, I must go now, I'm at work and must get back to just that - work. Bye for now.
My Thoughts:
Why am I so tired? A few months ago, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. The doctor said this was probably why I was so tired. I've been taking Synthroid for my thyroid condition for a few months now, but I still feel very tired. I used to be able to exercise with no problem, but now I can't get the energy to start. What can be causing my tireness? Can anybody suggest something? I have tried multivitamins, but they don't seem to help.
My Thoughts:
" . . ."
MzT
My Thoughts:
I've been very tired too lately. I just woke up from a 6 hour nap which is getting to be habit for me...it never was before about 2 months ago....I know I don't eat right and I am under stress, so I think thats why I'm tired....maybe you too? It could be the change of weather too I guess...hope you figure it out!
My Thoughts:
Could anyone suggest what to do for panic attacks? I have them daily, and it is starting to affect my everyday life. I am generally a happy person and I love life and I love God, but I cannot control these attacks. I am procrastinating with going to a doctor. I didn't want it to come to that. I would also prefer not to get on any medication, but if it is necessary I will do it. Someone please help if they have been through this before. Thanks.
My Thoughts:
Extreme grief. That is the only way I can describe how I am feeling. I feel like everything that happened in my life (besides my spouse and baby) has been a joke. The void that is left behind (the aching, hurting, black hole that it is) will never be filled with anything, but that is OK. Right now I feel like dumping all of my pain, tears, rage, confusion and insecurity down that void, having a good, cleansing cry, and then walking away from that void, on with my healing process and finding joy in the rest of my life. It's like my whole *family* (if you could call them that) just died; the loss hurts at first, but the healing takes over, and life goes on joyfully. I will conquer this; I will be strong. Don't mind me while I grieve for the many losses I have suffered from for my entire lifetime.
My Thoughts:
I'm so glad my friend, Cindy, is back!
My Thoughts:
The sun is shining and my heart is soaring!
My Thoughts:
To the person having the panick attacks. I've also had panick attacks for years. They would come and go. I finally decided to see a therapist. I stated using some herbs, but it didn't help me much. My therapist than sent me to a psychiatrist so that he could prescribe Prozac since she she wasn't allowed to. I didn't use it for very long because I didn't like the way it made me feel. I stated back with the herbs (I can't remember the name off hand - something wort). I started feeling better for a couple of years, but than the attacks returned after I got a new job. I went back to my therapist and this time with my physician I got on Paxil. This has been working very well for me. I don't have any side affects, and I no longer have the panic attacks. I don't have to tell you what a relief that is. Like you, at first I was afraid to try medication, but I was so desperate that I gave it a try. I'm glad I did. Maybe you should speak to your physician about Paxil, and I wouldn't hurt to see a therapist. I really enjoy my sessions with my therapist. I see her once a week. Talking about it to someone who understands and doesn't criticize is very helpful. Good luck and remember, "this too shall pass". :)
My Thoughts:
To the person who responded to my need for advice on panic attacks....Thank you so much. I feel like I have been getting signs to just get over my pride and go to a doctor. But hearing people like you helps to give me that extra push that I need. You may have been taking St. John's Wort and I have thought of taking such herbs as that, but I wasn't sure if it would do me any good. I am going to make an appt. with my doctor to see what can be done. I will mention Paxil to him. And talking with people who understand this problem and have had it themselves makes me realize that this is just another obstacle in life that I will need to overcome. I do have faith that this too shall pass:) Thanks again for your advice. I really do appreciate it.
My Thoughts:
FOREVER
some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom and make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. Some people stay in our lives awhile, leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.
I will always love you Henk,
Gloria
My Thoughts:
Relations have been strained between my adult
daughter and I for almost a year. Her boyfriend has
sexually harassed me and she has chosen to disbelieve
me. Now she's going to marry him. I can't support the
marriage and be true to myself. She's so disappointed
in me and my heart bleeds for her...
My Thoughts:
I feel sort of unsettled and frustrated today and it scares me. My 7 years of heroin addiction was my worst nightmare come true. I'm thankful that I've been clean for 6 months now and I can see how my life is SO much better already. I worked very hard to get me back again and that is why I don't like how I'm feeling today. Yes, I know that not every day will be great and I accept that but I guess that feeling my insecurities play with my mind today took me off balance. I'm working now(well, I should be actually working but...)I needed to stop and let out some of my thoughts so they wouldn't consume me. A good cry will be nice when I get home tonight...I think I need it. I don't want to use and I'm aware that it would get me nowhere fast again. I just needed to share and tomorrow I'll go to a meeting. -K
My Thoughts:
Keep up the good work ,K! You can do it - even on those unbearable days. :)
My Thoughts:
When I was a child, I was preoccupied with "forever." I believed that for something to have meaning, it had to be permanent. The idea that people grow apart or lose touch was terribly depressing. Now I've realized, though, that the duration of a relationship does not reflect its quality. There are some people who come into our lives for a brief moment, share an important lesson, and then depart. Because someone doesn't stay by your side forever does not mean that what they've taught you is without meaning.
My Thoughts:
Finally facing my demons - and finally realizing I am ME, not just another statistic. I never was alone as a child of God, no matter what happened in my life! I have a message, and I will spread it. Humans are imperfect... if a person doesn't live up to our expectations, that doesn't mean we toss them away. Don't give up on family when things get too tough. Accept even if you don't approve. Life is short, live well.
My Thoughts:
G
My Thoughts:
K, hang in there! I don't know personally what it is like to have a drug addiction, but my boyfriend of 6 yrs passed away to a cocaine overdose about 2 yrs ago. He gave up on himself and chose not to fight the battle. I love to hear that others are fighting this battle instead of giving up. I know how hard it is, but you CAN do it. Keep going to meetings and make sure you have a good support group. You will overcome this. You will have your good and your bad days, but keep in mind that this is expected. Cry a good cry if it is needed. I will say a prayer for you. God will give you strength to make it through this. I wish you the best and remember to stay strong. You can do anything you set your mind and heart to.
My Thoughts:
Thank you to the people who offered support by writing in the journal. It was most appreciated and allowed me to realize even more that I am not alone. I'm feeling more balanced now and I thank GOD for helping me through. It's on the rough days that you need to hold on even more and not to forget where you came from so you don't retreat back to the misery and the pain of addiction. I had what I call a "test" today. A close friend that had a relapse about a month ago works for the same company I do, along with a male we both know who she had relapsed with. She always checks in with me before leaving work to say hi but today the guy stopped by instead. He told me he was not doing well again and is using fairly regularly. He told me that he was leaving with my female friend and asked me if I could 'hook' him up with some heroin so they could avoid being in a "risky" situation to get what they needed. I was in awe that he could ask me that knowing I am clean and working hard to stay that way! Misery really does love company but I've been in the company of misery for years and I don't want to go back to it. I told him that I would have nothing to do with that situation and that if he didn't want to take a risk then don't do it at all. He said he would find it himself and then my female came near my desk and simply said "I'll call ya". All I could say to her was be careful. It's such a shame, she's a good woman who is NOT fighting this disease and it could so easily kill her. I was meant to experience this today,so I could show myself I have strength within myself and to again see how horrible this disease honestly is. I am concerned for their safety but I'm thankful that it is not me today and it doesn't have to be either. God bless them on their self destruction....again. I'm thankful to be me today and to be free. -K
My Thoughts:
K, your strength brings tears to my eyes. What you did today was a wonderful thing. You proved to yourself that you do have the strength and will power to stay clean forever. It is so much harder when there are others around you who are on that path to self destruction, but you must not let them win and lead you back into that way of life. You may have temptations, but you must not give in to them. This will get easier, I promise you. Maybe your friends will see how happy and free your life is and one day choose to take that same road in life. You will be a good example to many. You are doing such a great thing. Let others see your strength and your determination. You will not only make a differenc in your life, but in the lives of many. And you will have these "tests" in life, but you will pass them. God never gives you more than you can handle. He always gives you the strength to endure (1 Cor 10:13). I believe that all things happen for a reason. We are all fighting our own battles, but what matters is the way we handle them. I once read something by Plato that said "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." We all have trials and tribulations to experience, but we can get through them. Please know that you are not alone in your battle and that many other people are praying for you. Stay strong...you can do it! I don't even know you, and I have faith in you. God bless you always.
My Thoughts:
Its been a long winter, here in the corner of New England where I live, and the snow is just beginning to melt. All winter I've been struggling with writer's block--which feels very much like a blanket of cold heavy snow. But now as the snow melts I can feel the block lifting. I've written two poems recently; that alone is reason to celebrate. One poem feels like a good one, the other is as yet unformed. I love them both, good or bad, because they tell me my inner being is ready to emerge, newer and stronger. My inner winter is on its way out.
--Bonnie Smith
My Thoughts:
Try living in the moment. You can not change the past and the future is but a breath away.
Betsy
My Thoughts:
I just had a friend loose her son today. He committed suicide. I just wanted to write and tell everyone that when someone tells you their problems,no matter how silly they seem; please don't tell them how fortunate they are or how blessed they are and give them examples of how worst off they could be. Sometimes even when we know these things to be true, the actual reality of what we are going through is just as important as those who are less fortunate.
My Thoughts:
when i forget to say thankyou then my depression begins to rage again. I am so grateful for days which aren't black. Daphne
My Thoughts:
Had a good weekend with my husband again. Never imagined we could laugh like children together like when we first got together a few years back. He struggles with the same addiction that I do and we chose to get our recovery in two different cities an hour away from each other. We are both doing the right things to be clean and get our lives together again. My recovery is mine,and his is his. We want a healthy,long life together and we feel this is the best foundation we can build for our future. I am thankful to be drug free and also very thankful that God keeps our love together in his care. I could not ask for more right now. Everything is right where it should be and that makes me smile. -K
My Thoughts:
It feels like I've spent a lifetime fighting anxiety and depression. And today was a good day and I should be grateful but I KNOW that I will fall again, maybe tomorrow, and the pain and and sadness that accompany that fall will be overwhelming. Each time I think, can I do this again? I fell last Wednesday, and found myself being afraid of what I was capable. I am so scared.
My Thoughts:
I guess I have always been spoiled and never even knew it. Until I meet Randy. A very kind and caring man. Described to me as the nicest guy they ever know. By many people. My dad always gave me the car and the gas card and would say bring it home full. My mom would always go visiting with a bag of food. Most of the men in my life gave and never said a word about paying them back. They seemed to want to give to me and my kids. Was I taking them for granted? I always thought that was the way it was. That some how I was giving too, not just taking. With Randy it is how are you going to pay me back. It makes me feel guilty like I can't keep up with all his giving. Like I am not giving. Just taking....I try to talk to him about it but it just seems to come out all wrong. Like I am complaining.
My Thoughts:
It's been a while since I have wrote
But I have been thinking abou this journal and I choose to write in it.
As fas as my life
it is okay
But I find out of all the hard work that must be done we must fine the time to be who we were born to be
TRUE TO OURSELVES
My Thoughts:
I just spoke to my mother on the phone and what a good conversation we had. I'm sure it must be so nice for her to talk with me and I always say "things are going well for me, I can't complain". I asked her tonight if she ever worries that sometime when she asks me how I am that I tell her that "nothing is right". She said yes, I was so used to you always in pain and misreable while you were using drugs that I get scared sometimes about you going back if you feel you can't handle things. I totally understand what she is saying. She worried about me so much, always fearing the phone call that I was dead. I told my Mom tonight that no matter what comes my way, I will be able to handle it since I have God on my side again. I need to keep my attitude positive since it will bring positive results. I'm thankful that the most important thing I asked my Mom all my years of using was "to please don't give up on me" and she never did and still hasn't. I am truly blessed in more ways than one and I thank God for this. -K
My Thoughts:
I want to profess my love to a man in Connetticut.
I love you with all my heart and soul and will never
forget you in all I do.
My Thoughts:
Do you even know who I am? Or do you only miss what you lost? I may have been thrown around, kicked and left behind in the past, but I will NOT allow that to happen to me again. Can't anyone make an honest commitment? Or are we all too scared of losing? In my opinion, we have already lost.
My Thoughts:
Today I used the greeting "Namaste" for the very first time. I used in a correspondance. And I had an immediate reaction. Without any warning, as soon as I typed out the greeting, my eyes welled up and I felt overwhelmed. Something in me felt affirmed by my use of this greeting. It may be the first time that I acknowledged the divine in me, and that was cause for tears. Good tears...Anna
My Thoughts:
My soul has been replenished by discovering the power that my ancestors hold in my life. Their presence has been like a healing balm soothing me through traumas, through sadness, through longing. They surround me like a fortress, wrestling the demons of fear that surround me as I accept the mundane aspects of everyday existence. My ancestors will not let my soul rest until I speak their truth which gave birth to the truth I now stand in. My Grandmothers Clara and Indie are my warrior women, my daughters of the dust, my connection to that ancient way that will never cease to exist in my subconscious and conscious mind. I love them as I love me as I love God and the divine. My soul story is their story of triumph and surrender, freedom captured at fleeting moments where the impossible becomes the probable and everything changes as I see myself as a star, as the universe, as the infinite incarnation resonating from the crystals and the trees. My soul sits back and wonders how my mothers and fathers got over and I am annointed by the oil of their devotion to heal the nation. I love my African self and have rightfully taken my place as a descendant of those first mothers who gave birth to life itself. I am, Judy Willis/granddaughter of Indie/Clara/Richard/John
My Thoughts:
"When I was 3, I thought the world revolved around me...I was wrong"-U2 Life is what you make it... Time may change me, but, I can't change time... Love yourself no matter what, we are ALL deserving of love and the joys life has to offer. -K
My Thoughts:
The meditation/soul stuff is beginning to worry me. I just watched movie video about New Age gods and it said all this type of stuff was involved with Buddism and Satinism. I am a christian and I was really starting to enjoy these type of books and now I hear they only open a person up for possesion etc. Is this true anybody? I am about ready to stop reading everything, but the Bible. liprus012000200161@yahoomail
My Thoughts:
liprus, there is nothing wrong with the meditation/soul searching or book reading. I think it opens your mind up instead of closing it. I read the Bible, but I also read a lot of books about spirituality and it has changed me for the better. This has nothing to do with Satan. We were all given a soul and we need to be aware of that. God loves you and will not turn his back on you by reading and enjoying those kind of books. I think it is a wonderful thing. Please do not let anyone make you feel uncomfortable about it. Keep the Bible a big part of your life, but also do some soul searching and meditation. This can make you more aware of the beauty in life. I believe you will get to know yourself better and you will be more inclined to help others.
My Thoughts:
I "love" a man that can never be all mine. This is silly I am a strong
Women able to manage a large staff of high level official daily but
I can seem to take care of myself.
I am hiding behind a man that can never be mine the person I really am.
Until I am able to be that person, I will never be turly happy in any relationship with a man.
Can't do it, I have to much to lose - job, family, kids. Maybe when I come back in my
next life I will come back as a man so I can love the woman of my dreams. To be in love with some
and can never tell them or show it. Any that some dam S----. I am really a mess!
Gental
My Thoughts:
I thought today was going to be really horrible... but was pleasently surprised. It's good to have good friends and to be able to do what you love to do. Life is getting better - because I have made some changes in my life! :) Happy Easter to all!
My Thoughts:
Waking up sick way beyond the worst flu and having no immeadiate means for "medicine". Your mind races, you have an overwhelming sense of being afraid and anxious and you wish you could wake up from this bad dream and be normal like others. When you're addicted to heroin it is not a dream ,but your everyday reality. You eventually find a way to get money,not legally of course,and then search for the medicine. Hoping you will not be arrested, not get ripped off,and not have anything go wrong. You now have the stuff and get yourself well. For a moment or two you feel like a million dollars and then you're left feeling "normal",at least not sick at all. Then you worry all over again about your next dose and how to get money yet again to repeat the horrible ritual. I would look in the mirror and thought I looked great. Much thinner than my usual chubby self,thinking that if I didn't shower daily that the natural oils would compliment my long cherry red hair,thinking that no one would take time to notice the track marks all over my arms and legs and that because I was smiling on the outside that people would think I was happy. I was absolutly dying on the inside and I now believe that people could easily see how terrible my being actually was, especially when they looked into my eyes. That was my life for 7 years. I'm clean now and have to remind myself of how I lived and how deep down I knew this was not supposed to be my life. I can't change the past but can work on my future like I have been. I'm grateful for being able to live a happy,healthy life again,grateful that God has blessed me like he has. Starting over is not always easy but well worth it. I lost everything to this disease and my medicine now is recovery and I am getting all the things I lost back again...especially myself. Thanks for letting me ramble, it felt good, and Happy Easter to everyone. -K
My Thoughts:
i don't know what? When I feel hurt by something that is said I am told it is just a joke and I should be laughing. It is not true that we all have bountries that certain things are not funny. I think about what tina said about what is my worth! What is my worth if I don't set those bountries. If I don't say I didn't like that don't talk to me in that way. That is not funny. I feel like I am hurting the other person so I am or becoming afraid to say anything. Now I am leting someone talk to me anyway they want too. not good. I have to have limits i have to have worth. I am worth alot. somethings are not funny....I am a person with self worth and I have an opion. dam it!!! I need to pratice that my delivery.
My Thoughts:
a new door to the universe opened the other day. it came because i asked. because i needed it. what wonders i see unfolding every day on this path that i have chosen. thank you, guides. thank you, universe.
My Thoughts:
help me I am losing my mind. I don't know what i am doing. I keep on ending up with these guys who only have themselves on thier minds. I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I don't think i should be with anyone right now. I have to totally get into me. just let go of what are they worried about. I don't understand why i can't have feelings. do i feel the wrong things. do i say alwayss the wrong thing. my guy is always saying that i am negative. I feel he says mean things and he says he is not mean I am negative and if i would just let that stuff go i would think he was funny. i hear him talking to other people in a gentle way and just yelling at me. is he being gentle with me and i just hear the yelling. he seems mad and i feel like i am the cause. we have lost communacation. at this point in time he doesn't want to talk to me and i can't talk to him. I am trying to talk to him or i think i am trying to talk to him. maybe i am depressed. I don't want him to be right. i guess i don't want to talk to him because he is so great yeah right. I am not a less than human being then he is. why is he trying to convince me. help me.
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