How many of us actually take good care of ourselves? Do we eat right, exercise regularly, spend quality time with friends and family, pursue our dreams, take time to retreat, choose our associates wisely, say no to overextending ourselves, get yearly medical and dental checkups, indulge in moderation, get the sleep we need, laugh often, save money for extended vacations, wear seat belts, use sunscreen, enjoy holiday celebrations, ask for help when needed, communicate our feelings appropriately, plan for retirement, give and receive love, have fun, learn new things, watch a sunset, and rotate the tires on the car? The list seems overwhelming.

Taking good care of ourselves involves all of the above plus a sensitive attending to how we need to grow and develop. This means being aware of how our spiritual life is unfolding, and how we can nurture that process in ourselves. For forty-eight-year-old Betsy, self-care is currently focused on learning about menopause. For thirty-year-old Ben, whose father has lung cancer, self-care is spending quality time with his dad. So self-care is far more than doing what feels good or makes us feel good about ourselves. Self-care is about developing our highest Self. Admittedly, this is not so easy to do, particularly given the large and growing demands on our time.

It seems that, as life moves faster and with greater complexity, it becomes more important, but increasingly difficult, to take good care of ourselves. Both men and women are torn between work responsibility and family needs, concerned with current living expenses and future planning. Yet, many of us, women particularly, seem to have a more difficult time putting our own needs ahead of the needs of others. Jennifer Louden, author of The Women's Retreat Book, spoke to this issue when she asked women, "What would you most want to see in a book about retreating for women?" The most frequent response was that they needed permission to take time for themselves.

This is the central issue in self-care: giving ourselves permission to make it a priority. Caring for ourselves is an inalienable right that many of us don't exercise. We may have been taught that spending the necessary time is selfish or, worse yet, narcissistic. We may feel guilty doing something for ourselves before everyone else's needs are met--and that generally never happens. We may have neglected ourselves for so long that we don't even know what type of care we need or how to start. This is especially true for those of us who have been taking care of others, whether a growing child or an aging parent...

>>> Click to Continue Reading "Self-Care Retreat"

© Copyright Rachel Harris, Ph.D. This article was originally
published at our website, SoulfulLiving.com, in March 2001, as part of Soulful Living's "Soul Nourishment" Issue.

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