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Spring
Cleaning: Feeling Write at Home
by Eldonna Edwards Bouton |
Every spring my mother would haul the cobweb-draped
ladder from the barn and set up camp alongside the south
side of our old, two-story house. Armed with a bucket of
hot vinegar water, an apron full of rags, and a fierce
determination certain to rival even the most steadfast
grime, she ascended the ladder to engage in her annual
battle against dirty windows. I have a vivid memory of
my mother wearing a kerchief on her head and a flowered
sundress that billowed in the May breeze as she worked
her way from one side of the house to the next. Looking
back I imagine she spent as much effort trying to keep
her dress from blowing up over her waist as she did on
the windows, but it was the sixties, after all, and we
lived in the Midwest, where the men wore pants and the
women wore out.
My mother won her war with the dirt-demons every
year, but in the spring of her sixty-fourth year, she
lost her battle with cancer. Thinking back, I wonder how
she would have spent those windy days if she’d known
the number of them? Would she rather have sat in the
back yard with a pen and stationery writing poetry like
she used to before she dreamed seven children to life?
Would she have chosen--if she had the choice--to go for
a walk on the beach of Lake Michigan all by herself? Or
was the ritual window washing something that brought her
quiet joy? I’ll never know her answer, but I hope you
take a moment to ask yourself how you want to spend your
precious days.
As April approaches I’ve gotten to thinking about
my own Spring Cleaning. Unlike my mother, I am more apt
to clean from the inside out—albeit with the same
fierce determination. I’m usually pretty good about
keeping my finger on the pulse of my Inner House, but I
know that occasionally I need a thorough cleansing. The
windows of my soul become clouded with the residue of
winter storms and I know that it’s time to haul out
the ladder and take a closer look. If you’re feeling
in need of a Spring Cleaning of your own, grab a bucket
of paper and come along. We’ve got work to do.
- Take out the trash.
One of the most thorough
(and cathartic) ways I know to clean one’s Inner House
is to take out the Cosmic Trash. The best way to do this
is to find a quiet place where you can write freely and
without interruption. Bring along your journal or a
notebook and start dumping out onto the page all the
things you’re tired of having take up space (and
collecting dust!) in your mind and heart. When you are
through, (are you ever through?) tear it up. Or burn it.
Or bury it. The point is to get rid of it. For good.
- A top-to-bottom cleaning
. Once you’ve gotten
rid of those pesky dust bunnies (read: old anger,
resentment, hidden agendas) it’s time for a thorough
cleansing. The best way to cleanse your Inner House of
the residue that piles up after months of neglect is to
forgive yourself and others for whatever it is that has
kept you clinging to an unsteady old foundation. By
forgiveness, I mean letting go. Write: I am ready to let
go of what no longer serves me. I forgive myself for my
part in ____________ and I release ___________ for
his/her/its power over my life. I will no longer waste
any more precious energy on _______________________, and
I bless _____________________ with all the good I want
returned to me. Repeat as many times as necessary to
address each unique situation or person that keeps you
stuck in the past.
- Rearrange the furniture
. Once you’ve hauled
off the garbage and cleaned up your agendas, why not try
out a new look? Here is an exercise I often use early on
in my journaling workshops. Open to a fresh sheet of
paper and write, "If no one was watching…"
Fill the page with all the things you’d do if you were
living your life for yourself instead of to please
others. Would you have a different career? Go back to
school? Leave an unhealthy relationship? Well, now’s
the time. It is spring, after all.
Of course, once you’re finished cleaning there
should always be a reward. Take a long luxurious bath,
go for a walk on the beach or in the woods, have some
chocolate, or buy yourself a new journal. Make an Inner
House cleaning part of your ritual of self-care. Your
neighborhood of friends and family is sure to notice
your sparkling new look and feel. And you will most
certainly feel renewed.
Copyright © 2001
Eldonna Edwards Bouton
Eldonna Edwards Bouton’s
newest book is Journaling From the Heart: A Writing
Workshop in Three Parts. Her previous books include
Write Away: A Journal Writing Toolkit and Loose Ends:
A Journaling Tool for Tying up the Incomplete Details
of your Life and Heart. She also facilitates monthly
journal writing workshops at www.writerscollege.com
and pens a monthly newsletter, Writefully Yours,
available by e-mail subscription or online at www.whole-heart.com.
Eldonna's
Books:
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