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The Shadow Process
by Debbie Ford |
The Shadow Process gives us access to loving all of
ourselves. This deep and profound work teaches us how to
love each and every aspect of our humanity. It enables
us to embrace both the darkness of our smallest self and
the brilliant light of our highest self. Making peace
with our dark side is a sacred journey. It demands
rigorous honesty, courage and a great deal of
compassion. Embracing our shadow delivers us emotional
wholeness and the absolute freedom to be who we are.
When we are filled with self-love and self-appreciation,
we automatically attract the miraculous experience of
love and appreciation from others.
What is the Shadow?
The shadow contains all the parts of ourselves that
we try to hide, deny or suppress. It is the keeper of
all the aspects of ourselves that we dislike and the
qualities that we judge as unacceptable. The shadow
wears many faces: angry, critical, fearful, lazy,
controlling, selfish, weak, pathetic… These are the
faces we don’t
want to show the world and the faces we don’t
want to show ourselves. Most of us expend huge amounts
of energy trying to get rid of or control these unwanted
aspects of ourselves. We hope that by hiding or fixing
our "bad
qualities"
we will have the peace, success and happiness we desire.
Most of us are convinced that we are flawed and
inadequate so we become masters of disguise, and go to
great lengths to hide our bad qualities from those
around us – even from ourselves.
The result of turning our backs on our dark side? A
life that slips by only half lived. Dreams that are
never realized, or worse, that lay buried under years of
resignation and shame. Until we make peace with our
shadow we will continue to be at war with ourselves. And
our outer world will mirror our inner struggle. What we
resist persists – and we will create and attract from
others that which we most dislike in ourselves. Until we
feel authentic compassion for each and every aspect of
ourselves, we will continue to draw forth people and
events that will mirror the negative feelings we have
about ourselves. Until we take back our power and
forgive ourselves for being human we will attract people
who push our buttons and reactivate our emotional
wounds. And until we find the courage to love ourselves
completely, we will never truly be able to experience
the love from those around us. We don’t
need to guess how we really feel about ourselves at the
deepest level. All we have to do is look at how the
outer world treats us. If we’re
not getting the respect, love and appreciation we desire
from the outer world, it’s
more than likely we aren’t
giving these things to ourselves. This is the
benevolence of the Universe in action. The whole world
is a mirror of our own consciousness, and when we make
peace with the disowned aspects of ourselves, we make
peace with the world.
Embracing The Shadow
The process of embracing our shadow side calls us to
uncover the gifts and receive the wisdom hidden within
each and every aspect of ourselves, particularly the
ones that we are ashamed of or embarrassed by. Rather
than viewing our weakness, our smallness, our
insecurities or our rage as enemies or as obstacles to
moving forward in our lives, this process guides us to
embrace our so-called defects as the powerful teachers
that they are. The Shadow Process is founded on the
understanding that every quality, every emotion and
every experience comes bearing great gifts. Once we
learn how to uncover these gifts we become the powerful
masters of our lives. We develop the ability to
transform thoughts, beliefs or situations that once held
us back into fuel for our spiritual evolution and the
manifestation of our dreams. Embracing our shadow allows
us to reclaim the power we once gave away. When we are
at peace within ourselves, our self-esteem no longer
depends on the approval of others. Our own sense of
self-worth is no longer at the mercy of how other people
feel about us. When we receive the gifts of our dark
side, something truly miraculous occurs. Our wounds are
transformed into wisdom and the parts of us we once
believed to be our deepest flaws are revealed as our
greatest assets.
Embracing our shadows is the ultimate act of
self-love. There is no greater love than the one that
allows us to shine a light on the aspects of ourselves
that we have judged and made wrong. Embracing our dark
side gives us a new found freedom to be with the
darkness in others. For when I can love all of me, I
will love all of you. Shadow work is the path of the
heart warrior. It takes us to a new place where we can
open our hearts to all of ourselves and all of humanity.
Shadow work is not about perfection; it’s
about integration. It is the path of reclaiming each and
every aspect of ourselves and discovering how that
aspect can serve us. It requires us to look at our lives
from the perspective that we have been given everything
we need to fulfill our hearts’
desires. And the greatest of these gifts lies hidden in
our shadow. If we look for the gift of our weakness, we
may find that it has actually given us strength or that
it has allowed us to be supported by others. The gift of
our fear might be our determination or our ability to
set good boundaries. The gift of an upsetting situation
is that it could lead us to read a life-changing book.
The gifts of our pain are here for us to receive, but
first we must be willing to look for them.
Each of us must make the conscious choice to step out
of the belief that we are victims of our lives and open
up to the possibility that we have created our
particular circumstances for a reason. We must commit to
looking at our lives as though each and every quality,
person and circumstance has been drawn to us in order to
give us specific insights and wisdom. This requires us
to examine each aspect of ourselves and our lives and
ask, "Why
would I need this? How could this be a catalyst for me
to grow and evolve? How could this quality or situation
serve me in creating the life I desire?"
Transformation requires nothing more than having a shift
in perception. It is choosing to look at our lives in a
way that empowers us rather than disempowers us. At its
core, this process requires us to make the choice to see
ourselves though the eyes of the Divine.
I believe that the shadow is the greatest gift that
God could give us. It is the teacher, the trainer, and
the guide that supports us in uncovering our true
magnificence. The shadow is not a problem to be solved
or an enemy to be conquered, but a fertile field to be
cultivated. Dig your hands into its rich soil and you
will discover the potent seeds of the person you most
desire to be. Our most hated, feared or shamed qualities
are the ones that hold the key to living the life of our
dreams. What the Shadow Process provides is a way to
love what we have feared, to decode the messages we
receive from within and to unleash the power that is
hidden within you.
© Copyright 2002 Debbie Ford. All Rights Reserved.
Debbie Ford, best-selling author
of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and The Secret of
the Shadow, is a coach, teacher and consultant whose work has
opened the hearts of thousands, bringing them the gift of self-love
and emotional freedom. She is the creator of The Shadow Process,
a three-day spiritually based emotional healing workshop and the
founder of The Ford Institute for Integrative Coaching. For
information about her books, workshops and coaching intensives,
please visit www.debbieford.com
or call 800-655-4016.
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