Soulful Love A Monthly Column by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

A Goddess is a Girl's Best Friend

My Enduring Relationship with the Man of Steel

My "relationship" with Superman began at age seven, when he swooped into my living room in the person of George Reeves. It was reignited at 19, when Christopher Reeve stepped into those bright red boots in Superman, The Movie.

The movie filled me with a pang of longing. I wanted to be part of the energy, excitement and adventure I saw on the screen. By then, I was working at my first newspaper job and on my way to a life of Lois Lane assignments. I could relate to the romance of the newsroom.

The anticipation and affection between Superman and Lois in the movie were another draw. I liked the idea of having an important career and an important super hero kind of guy who could be there at the drop of a hat -- or helicopter, as it were. As a romantic fantasy, the Supes had one thing most mythic men can't beat -- a day job at a major metropolitan newspaper. To an aggressive cub reporter, there was nothing as exciting as a man with a press card.

I went about the business of building my career, secretly harboring the desire to someday find my own Superman -- or at least a Clark Kent to share a juicy journalistic life with -- and to develop my own strengths and powers as a reporter.

I temporarily fell off the path in 1986, when I married a guy who could best be described as a Caveman. Like Supes, he too hailed from a place which, at the time, seemed like another planet, Romania. He swore he stood for truth, justice and the American way, but he was no son of Jor-El. He turned out to be insanely possessive and physically abusive. In the darkest days of marriage the Caveman's tendency toward violence made it clear that I had to leave.

It was in 1988 that my Super Obsession really took flight. That was the year Superman turned 50 and I got divorced. Supes was getting a lot of media attention and I was looking for a fantasy to hang my hat on, while searching to recover my own power and confidence. A newspaper I worked for sent me to cover Superman's 50th Birthday party, hosted by D.C. Comics at the famous Puck Building in New York, and the moment they allowed the press to walk through a Fortress of solitude-like tunnel, where the theme song from Superman blasted, I felt as if I'd come home.

I had my picture taken with huge comic book blowups of Supes, Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen; I watched Superman clips on video. I interviewed women about whether they were still waiting for Superman to come and swoop them up and found that the fantasy was very much alive. The excitement and yearning I'd felt when I first saw Superman, The Movie was reigniting me. I was so high and happy from the experience at this fun celebration, I wanted more.

I went home and decided to "superize" my life. I bought a nearly lifesize Superman poster and had him mounted so he could stand. I bought videos of Superman movies and started collecting Superman memorabilia. I used the red, blue and yellow colors to bring brightness into my life. When I was lonely, I'd pop a Superman movie into a VCR. When I was scared, I imagined myself surrounded by a shield with a huge S on it. And when I felt powerless and lost, I'd strike the pose of the poster, imitating the fierce look and determined chin, the powerful upright stance and clenched fists.

Changing my physiology to model Superman's and redirecting my mind from distress to super powers truly assisted me in changing and redirecting my entire life. There was more to it than mere fantasy. I knew in my heart that sometimes we must pretend something is true before it actually is in order to get to where we are going in life: Fake it till you make it. To me, Superman represented a man who could not hurt me and a strength that dwelled within me. I was determined not only to utilize my affinity with the Man of Steel to get through my first year of divorce; I decided to become a Supermanologist of sorts, and have lots of fun while doing it!

By the summer of 1988, my search for Superman started in earnest, and built in leaps and bounds. I discovered Superman was so much a part of our culture that he does exist in very tangible ways. Sometimes, in the least likely places, like Metropolis, Illinois.

When I discovered Superman had a hometown, I got on the next flight and traveled to the southern tip of the state to meet with Clyde Wills, editor and publisher of The Metropolis Planet and with Mike Boyd, the super volunteer Superman who since has turned in his tights. I fell in love with the place and wrote several stories about going to Superman's hometown and meeting the great people of Metropolis.

When I returned home, I happened into a Manhattan store and discovered a gorgeous denim jacket painted and studded with Austrian crystal that depicted Superman flying out of Metropolis on the back and had a huge sparkling S on the front. It was so extravagant and expensive that it was decadent. I bought it. That was on October 18 -- the one year anniversary of the break-up of my marriage.

The jacket became my trademark outfit and I wore it like Superman wears his cape -- it never came off. I wore it right into the D.C. Comics exclusive Christmas party that year (I sort of crashed, having been given an extra invitation by a Batman fan friend of mine) and Julius Schwartz, Superman's long-time, semi-retired editor came up to me and showed my coat off to the D.C. Big Deals. It was like being a kid in a candy store, there I was at the source of Superman. I met Superman's editor, the amazing Mike Carlin; and Superman's artists, inkers, writers. Later, artist Frank McLaughlin was nice enough to give me as a gift three panels of original, signed Superman comic book art.

1988 melted into 1989 and a new super possibility loomed on my horizon. I continued getting up close and personal with the people who had in various ways been behind the legend. By now, the need for a fantasy had turned into a real passion for the past and current history of the man of Steel. I found so much joy in my explorations that I began to write about them. I made an agreement with myself to include a reference to Superman in every article I wrote for a year (did) and started doing a column for Women's News, in which Superman was always a topic.

The big breakthrough came when I launched Star Reporter News Service by syndicating my first article -- Superman's hometown, Metropolis, Illinois. The news service took flight as the piece ran in: The Chicago Sun-Times, NY Daily News, The Denver Post, The Boston Globe, San Antonio Express-News, The Miami Herald, Philadelphia Inquirer, Grit and even the Australian magazine called Pics. My interview with Metropolis Superman Mike Boyd appeared in Women's News and Comic Buyer's Guide.

By then, I'd become a seasoned Supermanologist. My collection of Supes memorabilia was growing because people kept giving me gifts; I boned up on the comic book legend and continued my search for Superman. My friend, Edie Hand, a cousin of Elvis Presley, put me in touch with Noel Neill, an original Lois Lane from the TV series. When Kirk Allyn, who played Superman in the serial that served as a pilot for the TV show, was in town for an event I interviewed him. I covered a celebrity baseball game that Margot Kidder, of Lois Lane fame, played in.

My Superman antics became a charming little joke among friends, and a point of intrigue among professional contacts; even an editor of Playgirl asked me to share my personal adventures with Superman in her magazine in 1989 -- who knew I would later end up on the staff of the same magazine that printed my romantic tribute to The Man of Steel?

My ultimate fantasy was to live out my favorite scene in the first Superman movie -- where Lois Lane interviews Superman for the first time and gets to fall all over him, be a sexy babe, and get her scoop. It was a part on the film I nearly wore out on my VCR from rewinding it so much.

On December 7, 1989 my friend Hank Dolmatch got tickets to an event at the 92nd Street Y in New York where Christopher Reeve was speaking about his career after a screening of his movie Street Smart, in which he plays a sleazy reporter.

I must admit my heart sank to discover that Reeve was not the biggest Superman fan on the planet at that point. He seemed to think that the movies that made him also tainted his career because, as we all know, people tend to think Christopher Reeve is Superman, yours truly among them.

"Part of the Superman legacy in my life is that people think, maybe we can prevail upon this guy; maybe this guy can really do something to bail us out," Reeve said. "After the first movie, it was quite overwhelming. People were making requests for me to show up in costume. People thought I was really Superman."

Uh-oh, I thought, this may not be a match made on Krypton. I almost got depressed but instead, wanted to meet him. I wanted to look my fantasy right in the eye -- and ask him a Lois Lane question. I could die a happy woman after that.

Donned in my Superman jacket, I snuck through a stage door and made my way through a number of people who were waiting for him to come out! When he did, I stood momentarily unable to move and propelled myself on with all the Lois Lane courage I could muster.

I made my way up to him, the bright "S" on the front of my jacket glittering with every step. If he thought I was a crazed Superman fan, he didn't let on. He was nice, I could see how he developed the Super character from his own personality; and patient, as I monopolized him, showing him the back of the jacket, giving him a photo of a wall menu that had a sandwich named after him on it, trying not to get too excited. I asked him a question that I do not recall and barely took a note on when he answered because I was looking him directly in those very appealing blue eyes.

I walked away on a cloud -- thank you Christopher Reeve! -- and felt I had achieved the ultimate -- an interview with Superman and a distinction between fact and fiction, real people and actors. My Lois Lane fantasy had been accomplished.

It was a healing experience that brought closure to the fantasy part of my Super quest. And it helped me to see that while there was always a part of me that wanted to be with a Superman, what became more prevalent was the part of me that wanted to be like him. After all, Superman has given us a role model with qualities that we mortals can emulate without having to bend steel with our bare hands -- fortitude, integrity, honesty, humanity. I think there is a super being that dwells within us all.

My son came flying into the world at 10:13 a.m. one October morning in 1991 and we named him Alexander Kent. One of the first gifts received by our little boy of steel came from his Aunt Rikki -- a tiny Superman pajama suit with cape. He was born with one leg, and an amazing spirit, and when he was a baby I would surround him with the Big "S" -- hats, gloves, pillows, scarves, shirts, sheets -- because I saw it as a symbolic way to pass along the power and strength. I think it helped because he grew to be such a super kid.

My son was about four when word came that Christopher Reeve had been injured in a riding accident. The first reaction of many people was pity ... that his life was done.

But I insisted -- "Now he really will get to be a Superman. I know that he will triumph and teach us all a little something about the power of the human spirit." I really believed in him. First, because I believed in Superman. Then, because it became so clear that Christopher Reeve was truly a super soul.

It's been many years since I first leaned on Superman to help me through a divorce and to empower me to find my own balance, confidence and place in the world. Over time, in the natural course of things, I put my Superman collectibles away and moved on to other stages in life. I left journalism for ministry and officiating weddings. I began to research the world's religions and study the Divine Feminine of the world traditions. I was awed when I discovered how many Goddesses have the powers and attributes I first heard of in association with Superman. I realized that Superman, all along, represented an ancient archetype that helps we mortals have hope and faith in the greater good -- and helps us believe in a super power that works with us to make the world a better place. By the late nineties, I was walking a completely new path ... yet I can see now how my relationship to Superman had actually prepared me for it.

I always thought Christopher and my son Alexander should and would meet. Sure enough, one day at Yankee Stadium, Alexander met Christopher and had his photo taken with him. I knew it was a significant moment that punctuated our Super journey.

As someone who once had a serious crush on comic book hero, and got over it, I knew I would someday find my own real life Super Guy. I was blessed to meet my beloved, Vic, in seminary the year I enrolled. One of the first things I discovered about him was that he too loved the Man of Steel when he was younger. Vic and I got married in late September 2004. Two weeks later he woke me up one morning to gently tell me "There is sad news today -- Christopher Reeve died."

I cried. And cried. And cried some more. My mind flashed to times when he was young, and standing tall, and swooping Lois Land into his arms while flying up the side of the Daily News Building in NY. I remembered his kindness with a pang of sadness that it would be gone from the world. Then I realized the gift I had been given: Christopher Reeve had deeply touched my life, since I was 19 years old. When he was flying -- when he was graciously standing before me -- when he was sitting in his wheelchair -- when he was speaking out on the issues -- when he took a photo with my son -- and when he was leaving this earth for another home.

And that was only my little perspective on it all! There were millions of people who had been moved by him. Ironically, he had, in fact, become as well known as Superman. And in our eyes -- whether he asked for it or not -- had become a true hero for our times -- an inspiration in times when there were so few to truly inspire us and remind us of our strength and abilities.

He stirred us on the deepest levels ... moved us to look beyond our petty issues ... and inspired us to think big, bigger, beyond what we had conceived. His platform was seeking ways to improve the lives and possibilities for people with disabilities and spinal cord injuries. Yet the essence of who he had become in our world went beyond a cause; he became an icon for inspiration.

Two days after his passing, I lit a blue candle in his honor. The tears stopped and instead I felt such gratitude and peace. I prayed that his loved ones, in their grieving, feel uplifted by the love that is surrounding them from all corners of the world. Though his life on this physical plane was short, he leaves a legacy that will live on far beyond his years on earth. And he will always be remembered with love.

© Copyright 2004 Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway. All Rights Reserved.  Photos of Rev. Laurie Sue with Christopher Reeve by Hank Dolmatch.

May 2003 - "A Gathering of Goddesses: Our Girlfriends Keep Us Real"

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is an interfaith minister who is often called upon to teach, speak and write about women’s spirituality and The Feminine Faces of God. She is author of, A GODDESS IS A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND: A DIVINE GUIDE TO FINDING LOVE, SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS, from Perigee Books, December 2002.

For more information:
Website: www.GoddessFriends.com or to join "The Goddess List" for inspirational and informational electronic message, Email: GoddessLaxmi@aol.com

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